My first experience watching THEATRE OF BLOOD...

It was in the early hours of Christmas Day morning back in 1998.

I was aged just 13.

THEATRE OF BLOOD was shown on Channel 4 at about 1am.

I had seen Vincent Price in many movies beforehand, including HOUSE OF THE LONG SHADOWS, THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL and SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN.

I was expecting him to deliver a theatrical performance with some dark humour around the revenge plotline. For most intents and purposes, he delivered and to the best of his ability.

However, the way the plot played out confounded my expectations completely.

The opening scenes in particular really shook me.

Having seen Michael Hordern in much lighter-hearted roles such as Jacob Marley in SCROOGE, I could not believe my eyes when I saw his character brutally stabbed to death in the warehouse. Seeing rapid camera edits of the maniacal cold expressions on the faces of the murderers was disturbing. But even more powerful was the placing of the camera behind a plastic sheet, through which we could only imagine what was happening behind. A truly powerful scene that still disturbs me to this day.

And it continued just as meant to go on (or should that be just as mean as it intended to go on).

I saw Dennis Price in a few comedies from the early 1960s. Watching his character coldly stabbed to death with a spear and then have his dead corpse dragged along gravel paving tied to the tail of a horse was simply breathtaking. I wanted to turn the TV off at this point but I couldn't help but feel intrigued and so kept watching.

Watching Arthur Lowe deliver some truly superb dry humorous performances as Captain Mainwaring in DAD'S ARMY did make me wonder what Lionheart had in store for his character. The beheading scene was an excellent one - tragic but hilarious at the same time.

I had seen little of Harry Andrews. But I liked his character. He wasn't as arrogant or self-centred as the others. I was literally on the edge-of-my-seat when his character was acting out the role of Antonio in THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. It was inevitable what was going to happen but the build-up was truly superb. The pay-off delivered equally well. It was truly disturbing to watch the tramps clapping away as though applauding a theatrical production when a "performer" had in fact died for real.

I had never heard of Robert Coote at all. I still have never watched anything else with him in it. His death scene was without gore but came across as incredibly sadistic in nature. Lionheart's expression as Coote's character walked into the wine-tasting cellar was incredible. I could feel his hate and anger. This is just how good Vincent Price's performance was.

The cameo from Diana Dors was totally unexpected but a true delight to see. Seeing her character strangled by that of Jack Hawkins was yet another scene where I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

The fencing scene was well-staged. That weird camera angle when Devlin first walks into the gym highlighted what was about to happen. The scene unfolded in a very dramatic fashion, with camera shots well placed and editing done to perfection. The stabbing of Devlin by Lionheart was truly sadistic but seemed just a touch out-of-character compared to the earlier ones. But it was a great scene to behold nonetheless.

I had never heard of Coral Browne either. The set-up scene in the hairdressers had me scratching my head wondering "what could go wrong here?". It's just a hairdressers, isn't it? Nothing scary or foreboding there. How wrong I was. The electrocution scene was completely unexpected and very disturbing indeed. This scene alone guaranteed the movie an "R" rating from the MPAA.

But the most disturbing murder was the last - that of Robert Morley's character. I had little knowledge of Shakespeare's plays and had never even heard of Titus Andronicus. But I had seen Robert Morley perform dry humour to perfection in many movies, including ones that aren't really comedies. It's usually the expressions on his face as he reacts to other characters that are really funny. But seeing his character force-fed his own poodles through a funnel was truly the most disturbing scene I had ever seen in my life up to that point. And bear in mind here, I had seen the ultimate video nasty - THE EVIL DEAD - a year or two before THEATRE OF BLOOD. But the death of Robert Morley's character really shook me in a way that no movie had ever captured before, not even the very, very brutal opening killing in THE COMEBACK (which I saw at the age of 6 or 7!). I was put off eating pies for about a year. The scene continues to disturb me to this day. I know most people would laugh their heads off but I just can't laugh at this one.

Overall, THEATRE OF BLOOD was an unforgettable viewing experience. I'll remember it vividly even if I live another 50 years. I may well look back upon this experience one day as the most memorable Christmas gift I have ever received. And yet the irony was that it was an unintended one.

It really is quite astonishing that the BBFC downgraded the certificate from an "18" to a "15". The stuff in this definitely feels like 18-rated material to me. I know that in these more liberated times, we are accustomed to seeing extreme gore and splatter in the SAW or HOSTEL movies, as well as a lot of heavy-handed stuff that came out in the 1980s and 1990s (THE EVIL DEAD, David Cronenberg's movies, the video nasties and so on). Don't get me wrong - I enjoy watching the SAW movies along with others, especially many of the video nasties. But the killings in THEATRE OF BLOOD come across as far more sadistic and the movie as a whole is ultimately more powerful in my mind as a result. Douglas Hickox directed a work of genius that stands out as a true British masterpiece. I fear greatly that nothing as powerful and compelling as this will ever be made in Britain again. I hope I am proved wrong...