movie quotes

"you're an actress? might i have seen you in anything, other than your underwear?"

...i may be sloppy, but i'm not dirty ... there's a difference you know !

Don't know if these are what you are looking for , but they are my favorite parts of the move. Mom has most of the really laugh out loud lines.

Mom: "And after dinner I suppose an orgy?" Don: "I hope so"

Don (after finding the fake hair & eyelashes & going on with feeling Jill's face): "This is scaring the Hell outta me"

Jill "I know you're not a witch" Mom: "& I know you're not... Snow White"

Jill: "My marriage doesn't concern you" Mom: "It didn't concern you much either"

Jill: "I played Yum Yum" Mom: "Yes, I'm sure you did"

Mom: "then you come from a broken home?" Jill: "Several"

Well before I write the entire screenplay I think I'll stop. This is my new favorite movie of all time & I can't imagine ever getting enough of it. It's just SO wonderful.

"you are emotionally retarded!"

"I was going to go to UCLA but I coldn't find a place to park."

"And I don't go up to people and say, hi, Don Baker, blind as a bad."

"When she calls, the phone doesn't ring, it says M is for the million things she gave me."

I also wanted to add that I loved Edward Albert in this movie also. He was cute as a button in this movie; however, this was the best role he ever had and his career faded into oblivion within the next ten years or so. It's a shame because he showed a lot of promise. If memory serves, he won the Golden Globe that year for Outstanding Newcomer (a Golden Globe category which no longer exists, BTW).

My favourite line was Mrs Bakers retort to Ralph. When she doesn't like the gruesome death scene he has planned for Jill's character, he tells her:
[Ralph]: Mrs. Baker, these things are all a part of life.
[Mrs Baker]: I know, Mr Santori. So is diarrhea, but I wouldn't classify it as entertainment.

Absolutely priceless!

Don: "Now please, I don't want to smell you here when I get back."

"You met me at a very strange time in my life"