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100 things you learned from Santa Claus in Comin' to Town

posted 13 years ago by Doc80
23 replies | jump to latest

This thread shows up on most boards and I didn't see one here so I thought this one would be fun to do.

1. Apparently the magic beans used to make the reindeer fly also makes them immortal

2. Burgermeister and his guards can't tell the difference between an empty stocking and one that is filled

3. That changing is as easy as "putting one foot in front of the other"

4. If Santa had his ay, he would deliver toys more often. He can't though because the demand is too high

5. Even though they live in what seems to be the mountains of Europe, Santa's best friend is a penguin

[–] xdayton 13 years ago

6) Don't ever ask Santa why he does things. He'll snap at you.

[–] rship1 13 years ago

7. Don't get fat after marriage or your husband will choose your anniversary to fly around the world. Sure he says it's to give toys to the children, but we know it's to escape his obese wife

[–] Doc80 13 years ago

That's a great one rship1

8. Winter and Santa are apparently the only 2 people in the world that can made a snowball and spy on anyone in the world.

[–] xdayton 13 years ago

9) Elves are immortal; their mothers, not so much.

[–] GeorgeBailey 13 years ago

10) You can tell Santa to call you "Winter" for 50+ years straight and he'll still mess up and call you "Mr. Warlock"

[–] GeorgeBailey 13 years ago

11) Santa can make the best toys in the world, but he can't make his wife a damn Stairmaster.

[–] rship1 13 years ago

12] Children wash their socks outdoors, in Winter, in the middle of town
13] The fountain in Sombertown's town square apparently pumps antifreeze

[–] lesuoraz 13 years ago

14) A tree monster’s bark is worse than its bite.

15) When an icy heart is melting it sounds like flushing a toilet.

[–] jmanz2 13 years ago

16) When mailmen dance they can freeze time and stay in the air for a second before falling back down.

[–] raphael65 13 years ago

17. It’s not considered insane to painstakingly craft children's toys and then chuck them out of your back window.

18. Children washing their stockings in the fountain of a town-square tend to have either straight or woolly grey hair (and are also not particularly cute).

[–] mklasr 12 years ago

19. There are still children who think Rudolph was one of Santa's original reindeer, even though this is contradicted by every single piece of evidence known about Rudolph.

20. When constructing a TV special based around a popular Christmas song, it is possible that a song will emerge ("One Foot in Front of the Other") within that special which upstages the original song for the purposes of promoting that special.

21. It is possible to sing an original, iconic song despite (Mickey Rooney) barely being able to carry a tune.

22. When trying to show someone how easy it is to change their entire outlook from bad to good, make up 2 verses of a brand new song, and when they try to ad-lib a third verse, make sure to constantly interrupt them throughout their verse.

23. If you have created tree monsters designed to ward off trespassers, Willy Willow and Peter Pine are excellent choices for their names.

24. If you are trying to hide from someone, make sure to use a secret identity that only they would know.

25. A Hermit-Warlock will gladly offer his magic in exchange for toys.

26. The ability to grow a beard is not genetic, rather it is determined by your proximity to people who already have a beard.

[–] artistmom61 12 years ago

Santa is a fat freak.

VADERKENOBIFAN

[–] hightp 12 years ago

27. The Winter Warlock really is a mean and despicable creature at heart.

He who fights and runs away, lives to run away again!

[–] rship1 11 years ago

28. When the Winter Warlock puts his hands together in prayer and asks for 'A little magic, please', the whole forest lights up

29. The Winter Warlock prays, but I'm unsure what he prays to

[–] Derpunzer 11 years ago

30- Local cops won't recognize a wanted criminal when they grow a beard.

[–] thip77 11 years ago

31. When teaching someone to walk, it helps to float through the air, contradicting everything you are saying about 'putting one foot in front of the other.'

Seriously, why does he need reindeer if he can fly without them...

[–] rship1 10 years ago

Kris Kringle was hot as a red haired young man. Nowhere near as hot as Jessica

[–] crlnrgbrght5 10 years ago

I've also noticed that about no. 3, too. Stocking s that are drying on the mantle, and are bulging would make me suspicious.

[–] racheljoane 10 years ago

32. After Jessica's New World begins, we discover that she and possibly the other members of the town are tripping acid (therein explaining the general madness)

[–] racheljoane 10 years ago

33. In the North Pole, you can construct a lavish winter castle with nothing but snow, ice and the help of some skilled elves and a penguin.

[–] rship1 9 years ago

34. If you've never ever left your home on a bend by the magical stream where you grew up, the best time to leave and make your way through the Dismal Forest is just as night is falling

[–] TheCarpooler 8 years ago

35. Kris Kringle is a dick to hiw wife, making her walk to the North Pole without proper winter attire while he stays all bundled.

[–] ResidentEvil1 8 years ago

36 It's OK to break laws if you think it's silly.

37 Penguins no longer live in the South Pole. They migrated well north.