johnathan reminds me of my father
Anyone known anyone like that? They mean well but try to relentlessly climb socially, and end up looking like hammy douches who don't know anything. They're also amazing at talking trash, but they would never do it to the face of who they're talking trash about because they're cowards.
People like that want to be the president (or something similar) but would never get there because they're so damn fake.
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous. Got me?