does this 1990's review still stand?
As I popped in the video an pushed <play>, I felt I had walked into the third act of a Shakespeare tragedy. I was left to my own devices to formulate the series of events which led to the scenes I found myself watching.
"Diary" is a story of an upper-middle-class housewife (Carrie Snodgress) who seems to surround herself with brutal honesty, then plays victim to it in an attempt to give herself some validation. In the opening scenes, her husband (Richard Benjamin in a thankless role) is portrayed as a brute and a boor. The first words out of his mouth are truthful observations about his housewife's appearance and carriage. "you're too thin", "You're always tired", etc. He is seen as selfish, unsympathetic and obviously unobservant to her personal issues. He is blinded by his drive for success. In this case, he measures success by the who's who list of the day. But he is being truthful in his expectations and observations.
He is also demanding. He works hard in his job and in his attempts to elevate his family into the upper crust of society's power-players. Obviously these are not new developments. These ideas have been his driving force for years. But we are assaulted by his behavior in the first scene in the filmmaker's attempt to exact sympathy for the wife. It's an old trick that has been around since Miss Gulch's first appearance in The Wizard of Oz.
But it doesn't stop there. Snodgress' daughters have also taken their cue from their father and, though they lack the sophistication of adult conversation, also deliver their honest perceptions with such brutality and insubordination, that the audience can't help but extend sympathies to the doting housewife.
What's a woman to do?
At what looks like an Alice Cooper party, she encounters a young, handsome playboy (Frank Langella) who stirs up an element of excitement in her drab, boring life. In a subtle, seductive manner, he entices her with elements of playful, flirtatious desire. He'll play the games that her husband no longer wishes to play. Naturally, she gravitates toward him as he has validated her as an individual piece of meat, rather than part of the family package her husband desires.
An affair ensues and she finds herself in the arms of the playboy who treats her to desire and great sex. This only serves to make her home life even more unbearable. Yet, this new relationship has all the qualities of her mariage, except the sex is better, the conversations are more personal and it provides an element of therapy for her as she tries to come to grips with the life she has chosen for herself.
Yet, even through loveaking and passionate showers, she subjects herself to more brutal honesty as Langella confirms her husband's observations; "you're too skinny. I can see your ribs".
She has no desire to hear this. She comes to his playboy bachelor pad in order to escape that kind of badgering and nullification. Needless to say, the affair doesn't last very long, as it stops being exciting and serves only to increase her sense of self-doubt and insecurity.
Her husband is brutally honest. Her lover is brutally honest. Her children are brutally honest and even her therapy group is brutally honest with her. No woman on this planet is capable of handling that level of honesty in her life. With so much truthfulness, there is little room for fantasy.
Reality hits her like a ton of bricks, being thrown at her, one brick at a time.
She's not Langella's only lover. She's not even her husband's only lover. But she wants to be in that fantasy, where she is the center of attention in a person's life- any person's life. Yet when she finds herself as the center of attention, she is pelted with truth and honest commentary which destroys whatever fantastic vision she has for herself. She deludes herself at every turn, thinking that her next step will improve her life. But every step she takes takes her further and further into the depths of reality. She discovers she is not the only lover in Langella's life. She discovers she is not the only mate in her husband's life. She discovers she is not the only parent in her children's lives.
"Diary" is a tale of a woman's journey to find herself, only to discover that she has no idea what to look for. Is she a wife? Is she a lover? Is she a mother? Is she an individual? Everyone around her offers their opnion of who she ought to be and how she ought to behave. But they're not offering her anything new. It's still the same old criticism and evaluations she undoubtedly suffered throughout her entire life. She can see her ribs when she looks in the mirror. She knows she's tired and listless. She knows she is unrespected and in general, a piece of meat upon which all the people in her life feast.. But is she a victim? Is she being victimized or is she setting herself up for disappointment and criticism through every action she takes? If you surround yourself with honest, opinionated people, you will get honest opinions.
If she wants to live a fantasy and avoid reality, then she would need to fill her life with fantastic people. Langella gave her fantastic sex, but in post-copulation, reality rears it's ugly head because the fantasy stops at the end of the orgasm. She can fantasize that she is the only woman in his life and all the attention he has is given to her. But that fantasy stops when the phone rings with Langella's other lovers on the other end of the line. All the events put forth in this film slap her fantasies down. to the point where she must face her realities and try to incorporate her sense of self worth into them. Wedded bliss is a fantasy. Unattched, unemotional sex is a fantasy. But she can't seem to find her place in reality, or if she can, she isn't pleased with her placement there. She doesn't want to be the doting obedient wife she set herself up to be. She doesn't want to be one of many on Langella's long list of lovers, which she set herself up to be. She doesn't want to be a piece of meat, yet she has nothing else to offer. She isn't parental. She isn't wifely and she isn't a slut. She is really an insignificant ornament- a keepsake that people hold onto as a matter of convenience and/or obligation.
She wants more for her life, but has no direction. And when others offer her a sense of direction, she rejects it as criticism and demands more fantasy. She's a fantasy addict who, when confronted with reality, goes into withdrawls. She withdraws into her role as a wife, or a lover or a mother, but never as an individual because she has never played that role in her life.
By the end of the movie, her walls of fantasy have crumbled. Her husband is broken and weakened which lends more power to her as a wife and mother. Her lover is rejected which lends more power to her as a decision-maker. And perhaps the brutal honesty she faces in therapy at the end of the film breaks down her own walls so she can face the new possibilities she will soon confront. With her group's criticisms, she can see that she had as much a part in this as anyone and that she can no longer play the distressed victim wallowing in her own self-pity.
The audience is left to conject her future, as the film leaves us with her in a state of self-awareness on the brink of madness. She could explore herself and realize her individuality, or she could murder her family and lover in a state of insanity. All her avenues have been opened up to her. But she is ill-equipped to handle this new level of liberation.
This could very well be the ultimate film of women's liberation. Made in 1970, it was released just as women were starting to venture out of their homes, their marriages and their customary subservient roles in society and into the harsh world which had been dominated by males for so long. yet were these revolutionaries equipped to handle the challenges the future would place upon them? Can a mother abandon her disrespectful children? Can a wife weaken and control her formerly controlling husband? Can a woman discard a sexual partner as easily as men can? These are questions our society faced as female empowerment came into play.
This film serves as an inspiration and a warning that the roles of the sexes (and thus, society) were turning. It doesnt offer suggestion or resolution of the imminent conflicts that would undoubtedly surface, but it offers hope.
And in 1970, hope was as welcome a commodity as it is today.
My "#3" key is broken so I'm putting one here so i can cut & paste with it.