I think Jean would have preferred to be his wife and not his mistress. Since he was already married, she couldn't have him completely. It's why she keeps Mr Lowther at bay - because she wants to be married to Teddy. She doesn't want to be the 'bit on the side', she wants to be chosen. Or else she might have wanted Jenny to have the affair in her place and then she would marry Lowther so she would have both men at last.
I think Sandy got that Miss Brodie was more dangerous than Teddy because she was the one taking these girls under her wing and giving them dangerous ideas. She was in a position of power over the girls - and her influence had led to Mary running off and getting killed. Not that I'm defending Teddy, but he didn't regularly abuse his students. As far as we know, Sandy was the only one he had an affair with - and she would not have been too far off the marrying age. But it was the 1930s and such things were usually gotten away with. Sandy might also have been thinking of his wife and children - who would have to endure the scandal if he was exposed.
Sandy clearly saw Teddy as nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a man who was insignificant, but she saw Jean as someone who could cause a lot more harm.
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