1) Be careful what you wish for... Sigmund Freud may have said every man desires his mother, but do you really want to listen to your "mother" talking about what she does with your father?
2) Only 1 soldier is needed to guard the prison holding possibly your most dangerous enemies.
3) If you are a father who fails to raise your sons properly, the solution is to have yet more sons.
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10 - Queens talk to their jewelry.
11- HGTV needs a show about making sure enough tapestries are hung in the bedroom to hide everyone who may be involved in family and political intrigue. Perhaps it could be called "Cover Your Arras."
12 - Living in a castle? Eh, not so glamorous.
13. Henry has had contessas, milkmaids, courtesans and novices, whores, gypsies, jades, and little boys.
14. A democratic drawbridge goes down for everyone.
15. Go raise children -- see the thanks you get!
16. Queen Eleanor was psychic--- she knew all about syphilis even though the disease did not get that common name until 1530.
17. Richard the Lion-heart had a creepy relationship with his mother Eleanor which made him a repressed gay man who overcompensated by excessive slaughter on the battlefield and willingness to wed his Dad's mistress who was also his gay lover's sister.
18. Royal women wore excessively long skirts that trailed in dirty straw full of table scraps and doggy doo, yet somehow managed not to trip on them into that stuff.
"Shake me up, Judy!"
19 Its 1183 and we're barbarians
20 When the fall is all there is it matters.
It is not our abilities that show who we truly are...it is our choices
Concerning 16: Well, this seems to be one thing that the play gets wrong, historically. Richard was, especially as King, not only flamboyantly macho, he was also flamboyantly homosexual (flamboyantly gay just doesn't seem to fit him). Repressed, he certainly wasn't!
share20) How to do a great performance, as Peter O'Toole had done, and not be rewarded with an Oscar
share21. The point of tapestries wasn't to decorate walls - it was to give people something to hide behind.
share22. A King can legally execute his own children.
shareIn the 12th century a king could execute anyone he damn well liked - although Henry himself brought in significant changes that founded the way for modern law. Magna Carta was forced upon his son John, but it's unlikey that would have happened without Henry's earlier influences on the law.
share23. Katharine Hepburn got an oscar she deserved.
24. Medaeval life in a castle was bl00dy awful.
25. Don't hang your jewelry from your nipples. It'll shock the children.
26. Departure is a simple act. First you put the left foot down, and then the right.
27. Tombstones make great Christmas gifts.
Life: An STD with 100% mortality rate
I Gave Up Trying to Find Intelligence on IMDB
Amazing, yours are definitely the best!!!
share26) What family doesn't have its problems?
share32. If Eleanor had managed sons for Louis, she'd still be stuck with being queen of France. Such is the role of sex in history.
33. If you want to dazzle your husband's troops, ride bare-breasted halfway to Damascus.
34. The Plantagenets are a knowledgeable family.
35. If you watch this movie with your girlfriend, and she knows nothing about history or geography, she will not understand it, even when you tell her it's really just about people and relationships.
36. Being a queen locked in a tower for 10 years with no visible allies at court or troops of your own, you can still almost bring down the king single-handedly if you're wily enough.
37. Bishops loiter in castles and are available for late-night, impromptu royal weddings without complaint.
38. As a lad, Christmas was much more fun at my house.
shareI love my English language, my mother tongue.
If you're a prince there's hope for every ape in Africa! (did medieval folk in 1183 know that apes existed?)
share40. Henry was up on modern fiction (i.e. "Lear," circa 1137.)
41. The goddamned dogs are ALWAYS under foot!
41. Placing your arse on purple cushions doesn't necessarily make you a "king".
42. The Vexin belongs to Henry because it's got his troops all over it.
43. When the king is off his arse, no one sleeps.
44. There's not a castle that stands that can hold Richard.
45. Peter O'Toole probably wishes he could kick the dog that "photo-bombed"
him during his big monologue.
Yeah, they're dead; they're--all messed up!
Of course they did. The first recorded use of the word in English is in one of the earliest surviving English manuscripts, written around 700 AD. And the ape regularly features in medieval bestiaries, e.g. here -
http://bestiary.ca/beasts/beast148.htm
http://www.bl.uk/catalogues/illuminatedmanuscripts/TourPopup.asp?TourID=505
http://medievalmeetsworld.blogspot.com/2011/08/next-beast-over.html
48. Eleanor of Aquitane invented the Christmas tree. True.
Before you say that Queen Vicky did, from an old German tradition; wrong!
She stole the idea from Eleanor, and called it her own.
49. To hide her double chin, Eleanor made wimples a fashion statement.
50) Despite a long day of sword fighting, riding horses, running up and down steps, traveling long distances by boat, fornicating, and eating, no one, male or female, ever takes a bath (though the king does toss ice water on his face). Er, when did brushing one's teeth or shampooing one's hair come into fashion?
May I bone your kipper, Mademoiselle?
Actually using a brush to clean one's teeth is a method that postdates the Middle Ages. But throughout the period, health- and image-conscious people were well aware of the importance of good tooth care. They used toothpicks, they rubbed their teeth with tooth powder (there were many recipes; ashes of herbs, powdered cuttlefish, even powdered coral) and used mouthwash.
And while shampoo didn't exist, they certainly washed their hair; usually with soda ash (a very effective cleansing agent - in fact pre-modern soap was essentially just well-soaked ash mixed with fat and perfume) and any of a wide range of herbs and/or perfumes.