I got the impression her mother did want JJ. Not cared for him as though she was 'in love' with him but wanted him because he was young and fit. Alva may have misinterpreted her mothers lust for love and thought this was some kind of stab at her mother.
Mostly she was drunk mixed with extremely negative emotions. Likely, 'black out' drunk and I believe that was the best way she knew to hurt her mother. When dealing with such a callous person, as Hazel, Alva probably didn't see many ways she could hurt her Mother because she was so uncaring in the first place. What did she love besides money?
Well, she rolls JJ, who I presumed was helping pay Mama's way at the hotel so she may have hurt her some with that as well.
I don't think she should have lied to Owen about the marriage, though.
She should have, like you implied, given Owen time to process the news before freaking out but she was a very emotional person and (as someone else says) drowned in her shame.
If Owen was really a good man, he would forgive her. Given her deplorable situation with her mother who was grooming her to take advantage of men (and likely anyone else for that matter) and this being all she ever knew. Owen could not reasonably expect her to change so quickly. The way she would have changed would be to experience some real love from him which would include patience and a degree of understanding. I think he would have given it to her, if she would have stayed to find out.
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