MovieChat Forums > The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) Discussion > How to be a part of The Greatest Story E...

How to be a part of The Greatest Story Ever Told forever

posted 12 years ago by glemay25
40 replies | jump to latest

Ok here goes. If you have never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior heres how. Just get a bible and open your mind and heart

1. Realize what sin is. Read Galatians 5:19-21

2. Understand what happens to all sinners-Revelation 21:8. Thats the scary part but its true and belive me good news is about to come!

3. Admit that you have sinned-Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:8

4. Understand you cannot get rid of your sin on your own-Titus 3:5

5. Belive that Jesus Christ is the only one who can save you from your sins-
Acts 4:12

Alot of reading I know but trust me its all worth it. After its over youll find peace with God :)

6. Belive that Jesus died on a cross and was buried. Three days later, God rasied Him to life again to prove that death was defeated- 1 Corinthians 15:3-4,
Romans 6:9

The good stuff is coming up now :)

7. God offers to forgive our sins and invites us to spend eternity in Heaven with Him if we accept Christ's sacrifice on our behalf-Acts 10:43, John 5:24

8. Turn from your sin and invite Christ into your life-Acts 3:19, 1 John 1:9,
Romans 10:9

If ready to make the most important decision in your life Say a prayer like this and mean it with all your heart

Dear God, I admit I am a sinner, and can't get rid of my sins alone. I belive that you sent your son,Jesus, to die in my place. Then you raised Him to life again, so that I may have eternal life. I now turn from my sins and ask you to forgive me. Please come into my life and be my Lord and Savior forever. In Jesus
name, amen

I belive that if you said that type of prayer and meant it, you have eternal life in Christ Jesus. To continue this path:

Pray daily-concerns,prasies, counting blessings, confessing sins, concerns
for others

Get babtized

attend a Jesus/Bible teaching church as often as you can

Love everyone and forgive those who trespass against you

give messages of salvation like this to others

If you ever backslide-repent and come back to Christ. He is very quick to
forgive

May the Lord bless all who read this :)

Romans 6:23
John 10:27-29

[–] bastasch8647 12 years ago

Will this fundamentalist crapola never end? Of course not. They imagine that they have a "Great Commission" to spread their religion across the world.

[–] cwente2 12 years ago

Well . . . They do have a "'Great commission' to spread their religion across the world" -- even as you atheists appear to have a "Great Commission" to stop 'em (Eg,. "fundamentalist crapola"). Guess that's what makes a world . . . and humanity. Just wish you guys would spend more time making your case and less time trying to shut the opposition up (Eg., "Will this fundamentalist crapola never end?").

[–] American1 12 years ago

Well said (i.e. Amen).

[–] cwente2 12 years ago

Thanks much.

[–] catjoescreed 12 years ago

I really think you'd like "Life of Brian."

Here's how you can watch it.
Go to Amazon.com.
Click on Amazon Instant Video.
Enjoy.
Be sure to sing along with the closing number, and, of course, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

The Haunted Man, by Dori Davis: Sometimes it's the living who torment the dead
Amazon.com

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

[list of instructions continued from above]

9. Boil eye of newt in a lead pot.

10. Throw the scalding hot newt stew into the face of a goat.

11. Pull your scrying knife out from beneath your loincloth and slit the scapegoat's throat while he's still stunned.

12. Hallelujah, you are now absolved of your sins!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing God's work... because the bastard's too lazy to do it himself.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Be glad to add those to glemay's list, if you'd, please, first tell me the date and time of your death and resurrection.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

We divine beings don't need to justify ourselves. You mortals just need to learn your place and accept what we say out of faith in your superiors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing God's work... because the bastard's too lazy to do it himself.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Fair enough. So . . . will you please say -- "stop snowing in Cincinnati"!

I gather you're assuring me you did resurrect yourself from the dead. And you are, therefore, asking me to take that on faith? How's 'bout appearing over my bed tonight . . . to, ah, reinforce my faith, so to speak. Should be easy for ya. . . Amen

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

It's not your place to try and test me. Your requests for proof are an indication of your own weakness as they betray a lack of faith.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing God's work... because the bastard's too lazy to do it himself.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

But, I do have a lack of faith . . . in you. So, if you want to set up an equivalency with That Other Guy, ya gotta do something like Him. I'll accept any of the following:

- your death and resurrection (I admit, that's a tough one)
- walk on water (deep water)
- free some people (Eg. the remaining Jews in Russia, Christians in Egypt, etc.)
- part an ocean
- get a few hundred thousand people to write books about you
- get a few million people to become martyrs on your behalf

I'm not asking for anything REALLY BIG like creating the universe. . . Hey, man ('scuse me -- I mean god), use your imagination! Seems to me a divine imagination could come up with a hell of a lotta good stuff. Right?

Faith, after all, has to come from something doesn't it (beside just saying, I'm smarter than That Other Guy)? So, do just one or two little things like those above, and I'm on board!!! No sweat. BTW, where do I send the dough after I've passed the collection plate? (Ahhh, can I keep a few bucks -- for expenses I mean?)

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

I grow weary of playing your game of fools. I've done what I can but you refuse to open your eyes to the truth. If you continue to do so then you will be forever doomed. Leave behind the Cult of Jesus eaters and embrace the truth while there's still time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing God's work... because the bastard's too lazy to do it himself.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Sorry, but you seemed a ready candidate for anyone's "game of fools". Couldn't help myself. I mean, after all, the claims of someone who's public moniker is "Amoebabadass" don't exactly inspire feelings of godly awe.

Anyway, see you in the land of the "doomed" . . . if you'll deign to pay us a visit there from time to time.

'Til then -- have a nice day!

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Not a problem, no harm no foul. Your obviously a little confused and are just seeking answers. I'm glad to see that you are starting to recognize the foolishness of christianity. It's a step in the right direction, however slight that step may be. Good luck in your search to fill the void you feel inside you, you'll get there eventual if you keep trying. Take care.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

What you erroneously perceive as a "void" is actually a gold mine of intelligent answers (formed within a good Christian up-bringing). Too bad there's a "void" in your brain which makes impossible intelligent questions to correspond.

"The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart." -- Benjamin Franklin

From the heart, then --

Via con dios and best

Btw, "Christianity" is spelled with a capitol "C" (whether you like it or not).

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

See how much power there is in my words. I speak and you can't help from getting upset. You're getting angry because you are finding that the pat excuses you use to rationalize your behaviour and false beliefs is no longer working. Forsake the Jesus eater cult and and accept the truth. There is goodness in you, you just need to let it come out.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Thanks for the analysis, doc, but . . . just consider my last post repeated here.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

The truth of the matter is that Jesus was a gay prostitute that frequently had group sex with his disciples. This was a profession he picked up from his mother who in fact lied and said she was impregnated by god in a desperate attempt to conceal her wicked ways.

The most notorious thing that Jesus was known for (and what finally got him sentenced to death) was that he performed a donkey show in Jerusalem. When you participate in the eucharist you are symbolically blowing Jesus although originally the eucharist symbolized blowing the donkey in imitation of Jesus.

Do you see yet why I'm trying to save you from the Jesus eater cult.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Correction. "The most notorious thing that Jesus (is) known for" -- AND THE TOUGHEST -- is that He asks Christians like me to pray for people like you.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Never mind all that, it's not important. Just remember when you eat Jesus to remember the origin of the ritual and imagine Jesus sucking off a donkey.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

. . . And I used to think that class was dead on the internet . . .

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Never mind that, it's not important. Just remember when you eat Jesus to remember the origin of the ritual and imagine Jesus sucking off a donkey.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Such eloquence requires no repetition, don't ya know. It stands alone, high above the rough and tumble of the common place musings of ordinary folk. Now . . . as to your fixation on donkeys -- comments may better be left unsaid.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

The next time you're on your knees in front of a priest and he sticks his cracker in your mouth and you fantasize about it transmogrifying into Jesus meat... remember what that REALLY means.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

I do. It means salvation.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Correction, it means gay oral sex.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Somehow, I suspect that, to you, most everything means "gay oral sex".

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Nope, just the "love" you "brides of christ" express.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Weeeell . . . they love you too, I'm sure.

[–] THE_Tetsuo 11 years ago

They love altar boys a whole lot more!

"This year I'm voting Republican. The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth."
-Monica Lewinsky

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

I'm not interested, but I realize I'm wasting my breath because Jesus eaters won't take no for an answer and you'll just keep to trying to recruit me into your weirdo cult.

Which brings us full circle and back to the original topic of this thread.

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"Eat to live don't live to eat [Jesus]." - Ben Franklin

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Hey, you're apparently a smart guy, you recently quoted Aristotle who's considered the father of formal logic since his Syllogistic logic was the first formal system.

I just read a quote by Carl Sagan that read "The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses."

What type of logical fallacy is Sagan pointing out in this quote?

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

He's pointing out a composition or division fallacy. In simpler terms -- a connectivity fallacy. You know, in the same way you leftists point to connected events and confuse them with cause and effect -- on a daily basis.

You'll, please, let me know if ever, in the future, I should commit such a fallacy. Thanks in advance!

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

Fair enough, not the answer I was looking for but what ever. I was testing to see if you were quoting Aristotle to appeal to authority or if you could actually back up the quote with some actual knowledge.

And as far as me making spurious cause-effect claims that are actually the result of tertiary variables... how about if you pull the beam out of your own eye first.

But I'll lighten up and stop intentionally trying to poke you with a stick.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Been looking for that "beam". Oddly enough, can't find it on these threads.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

It would seem really odd if you didn't get what "the beam in your eye" was a reference to, but on the off chance you didn't, it's a reference to a famous saying known as "the Mote and the Beam". With all due respect you might want to consider who said it and what they actually meant by it.

Your response implies that this saying doesn't apply to you, but given that you're a Christian, it's my understanding that you're exactly the type of person this statement was directed toward.

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

By the way, you probably could care less, but the logical fallacy I was thinking of was Affirming the Consequent. But to be honest I had to look it up because I couldn't remember what it was called.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affirming_the_consequent

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

Nothing "odd" here. Jesus said it. It refers to hypocrisy -- a universal human failing. Two additional comments:

1) My point is it doesn't apply to anything, specifically, I've said on this thread.

2) Your comment - "... you're exactly the type pf person this statement was directed toward" indicates a gross misunderstanding on your part. To wit, the statement applies to all persons, including you, though it can, at times, be willfully misassigned -- as you have done. The question, then, becomes who's the hypocrite here?!

[–] Amoebabadass 11 years ago

You know, you seem to complain a lot about how entrenched liberals are, how they won't consider the view from the other side. Maybe liberals see you as obstinate as well. Maybe your judgement of other people comes off as hypocritical.

[–] cwente2 11 years ago

"Maybe your judgement of other people comes off as hypocritical."

Well . . . you've said something worthwhile. I'm sure it does. However, there are times when accusations of hypocritical (Let's face it -- everyone is a hypocrite at times.) simply aren't valid but, rather, an easy way of avoiding inveighing with fact or logic upon a point.

I'm sure liberals see me as "obstinate". Good. They never, it seems, notice the "beam" in their own eyes.