Quite a few years ago, here on IMDB I had written a short summary of how I thought the finale would be. It's long gone, but I'll try to recreate it.
It's March 1945 and the Allies are advancing across Germany. In the camp, Klink, who's been at Colonal grade the longest of his class, finally get's notice of his promotion to General. In Klink fashion, he insists Gen. Burkhalter give him his new rank in the camp in front of the prisoners and Hogan volunteers the prisoner band to play for him.
Secretly, groups of commandos have been coming into the camp through the tunnels in and effort to take Hammelburg after they've organized. Hogan sees Klink's promotion party as a method of capturing a lot of the German Brass at one time and has the commandos pretend to be the band as they will be on the stage with the officers.
The ceremony starts and just as Burkhalter is to give Klink his promotion, Major Hochstetter bursts into the camp with a truckfull of SS and claim the Allies are coming. They are to quickly round up the prisoners and prepare them to move to another facility.
Hogan, at this point, gives the signal and the commandos drop the instruments and pick up their hidden weapons and surround the officers on stage. The lead commando points his .45 at Hochstetter and says, 'Sir, I believe you are now my prisoner." The SS give up without a shot and the camp is liberated.
Before the credits roll we hear the familiar drum music from the opening of the show. With the music in the background, superimposed over Hogan's cap hanging on Klink's helmet, we get a run down of the key characters:
Major Hochstetter has a mental breakdown and is taken to a Hammelburg asylum where it receives treatment. Whenever his doctor enters his room his is heard to exclaim, "What is this man doing here!"
Gen Burkhalter is cleared of any charges at trial and now lives in Heidleburg with his sister who helps him with his gout.
Sgt Schultz is given reparations for his toy company and opens a cafe in Hammenbug which specializes in French pastry he obtains from LeBeau's world class resturants.
LeBeau opens his resturant in Paris and has a Liberation Day party every year.
Newkirk returns to the RAF but is discharged almost immediately after impersonating Field Marshal Montgomery. He later enteres the fledling TV industtry and becomes a popular game show host for the BBC.
Carter marrys his sweetheart, Betty Lou becomes a high school chemestry teacher until he accidentally blows up the school gym.
Kinch/Baker entered politics where they helped Edward William Brooke III became the first African-American popularly elected to the United States Senate in the 1960s.
Col Klink, volunteers to help shut down the camp after the liberation and due to recommendations of prisoners is allowed to stay. One night, while in is quarters, he accidentally opens the tunnel entrance under the stove. Grabing a light he investiagates, and is never heard from again.
Col Hogan, upon returning to the states is awarded the Medal of Honor. He retires from active service to take a position of the chief engineer of for the Utah Mining Corporation. There he lives with is 2 wives, Helga and Hilda and their 9 children who affectionatly call him ' Papa Bear'.
The music swells, and the picture fades to black.
He who fights and runs away, lives to run away again!
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