1.) Liverwurst, liverwurst, chicken or liverwurst
2.) ...?
There, daddy, do I get a gold star?
2) It is possible to shave the cleft in your chin. Just keep trying. :)
“There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion”
~Audrey Hepburn
3)If you have a drip-dry suit, it's best to shower wearing it.
4)On the other hand, wearing pyjamas could well be fatal.
5)And if you are planning to follow someone, a dazzling white raincoat and
huge sunglasses are a good choice (we know this because
women make the best spies)
(we know this because women make the best spies)
Smoking without a filter is like drinking coffee through a veil.
When Audrey comes on, she really comes on.
They use the guillotine in France. Still.
Cary Grant has a wife. But they're divorced.
What are pyjamas anyway? An American fad?
Shakespeare never said that, it was just made up.
Your future is all used up...
1. Liverwurst, liverwurst, chicken, or liverwurst
2. Shave the cleft in your chin
3. If you have a drip-dry suit, it's best to shower wearing it.
4. On the other hand, wearing pyjamas could well be fatal.
5. And if you are planning to follow someone, a dazzling white raincoat and
6. huge sunglasses are a good choice (we know this because women make the best spies)
7. Smoking without a filter is like drinking coffee through a veil.
8. When Audrey comes on, she really comes on.
9. They use the guillotine in France. Still.
10. Cary Grant has a wife. But they're divorced.
11. What are pyjamas anyway? An American fad?
12. Shakespeare never said that, it was just made up.
13. Always keep a spare hook if you're missing a hand.
14. If you don't want to get thrown off the train while it's moving, don't call the conductor a wussy.
15. Lock your office doors during lunch break.
16. If you work in the Paris Theater, step lightly.
17. Showering with your clothes on is good for the fabric.
18. Ice cream isn't good for the fabric, though.
19. Taking a bath in your clothes is terrible for the fabric.
20. You can never have too many passports
21. You can hold matches up to a woman to frighten her, and she'll never blow them out.
22. Little bald guys with glasses are even meaner than Texans
23. You nevr know who you'll meet at a funeral
24. It's easy to bluff embassy officials in Poker.
Your future is all used up...
Lets not bicker about who killed whom
25. Never hide in that little box on a stage if a killer is chasing you.
26. Marionettes are not liable in cases of domestic violence.
27. There is at least one honest stamp collector in Paris.
28. Grandpierre's nose will get him a promotion, as it smells lies.
29. 250k worth of heroin can easily fit in a small can of tooth powder and may be peppermint.
30. Having matches thrown on you is a fate worse than death.
This is my story. This is the sacrifice my father made. This was his gift to me.
"29. 250k worth of heroin can easily fit in a small can of tooth powder and may be peppermint"
I always did wonder about those mint-leaf weeds that cropped up in my parents' flower beds every year...
Anyway....
--If you ever jump from balcony to balcony in hot pursuit of someone, expect some (probably really old by now) woman to accuse you of looking in at her as you pass her window.
--Also expect her husband to blame it on bad luck and not do anything about it.
--Burying money in the garden always works. Jean-Louis said so.
--Next time please, just use the keyhole.
--The hotel clerk will share in the secrecy of the plot by putting dead guys in the beds of their hotel rooms but will only get one line of dialogue.
--The French police are handy when it comes to helping you stay informed of appointment changes.
--------------------------------------------------------
The ultimate question: Stuffing or potatoes?
[deleted]
1. Liverwurst, liverwurst, chicken, or liverwurst
2. Shave the cleft in your chin
3. If you have a drip-dry suit, it's best to shower wearing it.
4. On the other hand, wearing pyjamas could well be fatal.
5. And if you are planning to follow someone, a dazzling white raincoat and
6. huge sunglasses are a good choice (we know this because women make the best spies)
7. Smoking without a filter is like drinking coffee through a veil.
8. When Audrey comes on, she really comes on.
9. They use the guillotine in France. Still.
10. Cary Grant has a wife. But they're divorced.
11. What are pyjamas anyway? An American fad?
12. Shakespeare never said that, it was just made up.
13. Always keep a spare hook if you're missing a hand.
14. If you don't want to get thrown off the train while it's moving, don't call the conductor a wussy.
15. Lock your office doors during lunch break.
16. If you work in the Paris Theater, step lightly.
17. Showering with your clothes on is good for the fabric.
18. Ice cream isn't good for the fabric, though.
19. Taking a bath in your clothes is terrible for the fabric.
20. You can never have too many passports
21. You can hold matches up to a woman to frighten her, and she'll never blow them out.
22. Little bald guys with glasses are even meaner than Texans
23. You nevr know who you'll meet at a funeral
24. It's easy to bluff embassy officials in Poker.
25. Never hide in that little box on a stage if a killer is chasing you.
26. Marionettes are not liable in cases of domestic violence.
27. There is at least one honest stamp collector in Paris.
28. Grandpierre's nose will get him a promotion, as it smells lies.
29. 250k worth of heroin can easily fit in a small can of tooth powder and may be peppermint.
30. Having matches thrown on you is a fate worse than death.
31. If you ever jump from balcony to balcony in hot pursuit of someone, expect some (probably really old by now) woman to accuse you of looking in at her as you pass her window.
32. Also expect her husband to blame it on bad luck and not do anything about it.
33. Burying money in the garden always works. Jean-Louis said so.
34. Next time please, just use the keyhole.
35. The hotel clerk will share in the secrecy of the plot by putting dead guys in the beds of their hotel rooms but will only get one line of dialogue.
36. The French police are handy when it comes to helping you stay informed of appointment changes.
37 Elevators are incredibly small in France.
38. You can eat all you want without gaining an ounce as long as your very nervous while doing it.
39. Small hotels can get your entire suit dry enough to where out on a romantic date a few hours later. Though it may still be a bit damp.
40. Men's dress socks unravel very easily.
41. Knowing how to unravel your socks is a trick that teach you at "Spy School".
42. Make that "Agent School".
43. You can slide off a roof in Paris but not hit the ground as long as you have a hook for a hand.
44. You can receive a long gash in your back from a hookman and not have to get stitches.
45. The Whitefoot Indians always tell the truth.
46. The Blackfoot Indians alway lie.
47. Whitefoot and Blackfoot Indians never take off their moccasins.
48. Small boys can be easily kidnapped and held in the same motel as you.
49. Successful Antique Dealers carry four passports, each with a different name.
50. It is apparently possible to drown in your bed.
51. It is against the law to register under an assumed name.
52. It is not against the law to register under an assumed name in America.
53. It's always funny to have your head chopped off by the quillotine.
54. Rolling an orange with your chin up and down a stoic matronly woman's body is considered fun in France.
55. You can drown, be crushed in a lift and suffocate while sleeping.
56. An embassy worker in France has to be able to use the side entrance and take his seat in less time than it takes someone to enter the main entrance and be let in by the secretary.
57. If you're an embassy guard, and a woman asks you for a certain office, while standing next to the man who runs it, if he looks up to the sky, he wants you to not give him away.
58. French Police inspectors know how to behave at funerals.
59. A clever fellow will squirt water in your face from a water pistol.
60. People with hooks for hands should always keep a spare.
61. They did that sort of thing back in Cary Grant's day.
62. If you're chasing a girl, and lose her, you should try to look in a nearby phone booth with the phone hanging down.
You've got spunk! I hate spunk!
63 American embassy heads of security weren't very security conscious in the sixties.
64 French police investigators investigating homicides in the sixties, liked to try to smoke cigars and were happy to let the suspects eliminate one another for them.
[deleted]
55. You can drown, be crushed in a lift and suffocate while sleeping.
---------------------------------------------
Applied Science? All science is applied. Eventually.
56. Doing deep knee bend exercises won't strengthen your knees enough to survive a 30 foot fall.
Absurdity: A Statement or belief inconsistent with my opinion.
-- When you're thrown off a fast moving train the law of forward momentum ceases to exist.
-- Woman hate liverwurst.
-- No one ate sandwiches without the crusts cut off before 1970.
-- Regina Lampert didn't have any idea what American cigarettes cost in Europe.
-- Hanging off of a roof by your prosthetic claw is not as dangerous as taking a bath.