Made our own lyrics...

About a decade after the run of the show, my Catholic high school friends and I decided the song needed a reworking:

"Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the Junction...
Petticoat Junction.
Forget about your cares it is time to relax at the Junction...
Petticoat Junction.
Lots of whores you bet!
'N'even more when you get to the Junction...
Petticoat Junction!
There's a little hotel called the 'Shady Rest' at the Junction...
Petticoat Junction.
It is run by Kate cum and masturBATE at the Junction...
Petticoat Junction.
And that's Uncle Joe - he's a BIG FAT 'MO at the Junction...
Petticooooooat Junction!"

How'd we do???

"Don't call me 'honey', mac."
"Don't call me 'mac'... HONEY!"