Monologue 8-1-86 the memory of future things

Johny and Tommy Newsome are wearing similar blazers and pants and Johny takes some sport with him.

Johny: Tommy's idea of a big saturday night is to go down to Ralphs and sneak onto the ten Items or less line with eleven items.

Johny:'How many of you have read the Meese commission report on pornagraphy, Any of you? Have you seen some of their finding? Some good news today, the commission said it's okay to share a single strand of spaghetti as long as its done in the privacy of your own home."

Johny:" and i think i should have done that joke in the privacy of my own home.

Big laugh from Ed can be heard

Joke about Vanna White writing her autobiography is next, its a pretty lame joke but it does illustrate the point that amazingly Vanna is still doing 'Wheel of fortune' 30 years later. She lasted longer on her show than Johny did on his.

Johny tells a very long joke about a possible actors strike, thats goes over like a lead balloon
Johny:" There's a joke in there somewhere , if you'd like to go on a treasure hunt, with a geiger counter."

Johny:" ..Actually..one of the problems with the strike was.." Johny goes right back to the well even after the first joke bombed, and it even amuses him, how he continues to persevere," They had some new episodes being planned for this fall, that were delayed indefinitely, for example NBC had Herve Villechaze ...as kid Sanchez, a wrangler on an ant farm, in the very first episode the kid is thrown from his grasshopper and killed in a stampede."

Johny;" The Emmy nominations...they had a category for the best toupee on a tele-evangelist."

note: this is like the third joke i have recorded from the monologues in which Johny talks about tele-evangelists and their toupees, the subject must really tickle him,

nobody laughs but some people start to clap, but Johny puts up his hand to stop them," no,no,no, that's not from the Heart."

Johny:" They had some strange categories, up for the same award, are Dustin Hoffman, Willard Scott and King Friday from Mr Rogers show." i don't get this one, i guess its a joke about short people, but i don't think Willard Scott is short.

Johny using hand gestures" we're getting close to a joke."

Johny:" you know who had a birthday, First lady Nancy Reagan, she is now 65, and she looks wonderful and is now collecting social security, so both the first lady and the President are collecting social security, Now let them try to live on that when they leave the White House."

Note: NANCY IS STILL GOING STRONG AT 94 YEARS OF AGE. she has been collecting those social security checks for 30 years. God bless her.

Johny"" Prince Andrew of England and his bride Sarah Ferguson" addressing Ed, " I guess she's Princess now, do they call her Princess Sarah, would that be correct Title?"

Ed agrees then somebody else tells him its Duchess of York

Johny lays into Ed for giving him the wrong original info," I depend on you for information."

Ed: " I didn't want to argue with you on a Friday night, I would have been miserable all weekend."

Johny:" Anyway, they got back after their two-week honeymoon in the Azores, Prince Andrew is just like any other good son, he brought his dirty laundry back to his mothers house."

Note: Andrew and Sarah were divorced 10 years later, and his mother Queen Elizabeth is still going strong at 89, she is never going to give Charles a chance, is she.

Johny:" Speaking of Birthdays , today is the Birthday of Francis Scott key, the composer of the star spangled banner. and you probably don't know this, but as he was composing it, remember, in a jail, during the bombing of fort McHenry, he said to himself-one day Kemmy Rogers will sing this during a Dodgers game." speaking of bomb going off.

fittingly, with the way the monologue has been going, Johny talks about the Titanic.

Johny:" How many of you have been watching the footage of the Titanic, ..wonderful pictures, Now i hate to say this, i'm starting to doubt its authenticity , i was watching it last night and the camera was starting to pan B deck...and i saw Dog, Gopher and Charo."

It's amazing how this monologue featured many people who are still going strong 30 years later. Including Doc, Gopher and Charo