In the hands of a tyro, a massé is:
a) A good way of at best badly marking and at worst ripping the baize
b) Apart from a wild and over-enthusiastic break, one of the best ways of launching the cue ball into the bar, into mirrors, customers' drinks, booze bottles, etc, etc...
c) A way for lucky smug gits to say, "Played for and got, mate!", thus precipitating punch-ups
d) A way for would-be smug gits to look like total prats, inviting mockery and thus precipitating punch-ups
e) A great way of having as little control as possible over where the cue ball ends up
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