Sorry to say, but you guys are all off. The slap was because she referred to the solider as "he" instead of "you." It goes back to the point of not "knowing" something unless you are within. Once she called him "he," then he no longer existed. He was a part of the past.
Don't want to be nitpicking, but she does in fact use "he" when referring to her dead lover multiple times before that point. She uses "he" more when closing in on the death of her lover, all-in-all probably five or so times. I think it was exactly that, admitting her past and admitting that "he" was dead, whereas the man in front of her was alive. She was not sure on this obviously, because later "she talks to the mirror".
About the slap. I think it was used there as a dramatic device to bring an abrupt end to the all-encompassing power of her memory and make the return to "the real world" apparent. You can also notice the return of the restaurant's diegetic sounds at that point.
I think people have gotten just a tad hypersensitive to such things as slapping someone on the face. I think that in a situation such as this a little slap is pretty insignificant compared to what she was experiencing emotionally. Also keep in mind those French are passionate folks :)
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