Best lines from mst3k...


"Everyone knows it's slink-skull

Spork...spork...spork...spork

Wow...it's a manzeer

Sometimes movies have scenes like foam peanuts...this is definitely a foam peanut

Partayyy

It's Bugs Bunny chase music

Oh why'd you hurt me moe...ow moe!

Poor Ricky, he's so fine, he's so fine I blow my mind, poor ricky.

Look...he's collecting pot!

Smile though your heart is breaking

Wow what a bad time for show us your live wife and earn money

I don't know how to put up this tent

Wow I hate when she play's that Yoko Ono music

Ah...the film broke it was horrible"

I probably got some of the words wrong on here but oh well.

I have both versions of the movie and boy doe's the movie suck without the mst3k crew!

Listen, kid, we're all in it together.

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mmmm nothing like fresh roasted skull!

now lay on the painting and light it.

my wife and I have a understanding....

children love to hang drapes.

if you let that dress out a little you could breath.

<BANG> wow, that was great.

I brought you a night basket!

A dandelion!

she has the aurora borealis in her liveing room!

her parents drowned in a basket of eggs...

Oh there are so many more but I will stop here. If it were not for MST3K I think I would be even more crazy than I am now...

remember, the love you take is equal to the love you make....

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"OK, you've set up enough mood, I think you can move on to plot now."

My favorite line comes from Crow. In the beginning of the movie, a narrator says that this movie may scare you to death, and in case it does, they offer you a free coffin. Later on in the movie, Crow remarks, "Remember folks, if you die of boredom, you do not get a free coffin."

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same thing happens in the screaming skull..they stole it from some other film

i wanna see what your inside look like
i bet your not f@*$en pretty on the inside

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additions...

"Ah nothing like a nice bath in the morning.

I am fertilizing the bushes as we speak.

He's a real dead-head!

Look the tibetan freedom concert is starting again.

There goes my husband on the teeter-totter again.

JENNY...I've got your number.

Don't forget that tonight is monkey-love night.

Hi this is the skull I am here to talk about a little ME-THROWING!"



Listen, kid, we're all in it together.

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"I think it was supposed to be called Screaming, Skull."

Listen, kid, we're all in it together.

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"Man when's she going to put out that raging fire in the den!"

"Oh, I forgot something."

"I'll get it...I guess."

Listen, kid, we're all in it together.

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Looks like a dead guy won the Kentucky Derby.

Flat, drab passion meanders across the screen.

Just beheading rats down here.

The film broke and it was horrible!

Then a lion jumped out and shot her...at least that’s what Eric said.

She was coming down this path here...it started to rain very hard...and she got dead.

Oh, it’s my marinated rearview mirror.

Shocking horror arrives in style in your ‘53 Mercedes.

Oh, Eric, I’m sorry...I got snot on your bathrobe.

Yes, you were sick once, but you were cured...maple cured and smoked.

C’mon, I want you to unclog the toilet.

Okay, now my dead wife will scream...listen to the difference.

Mickey gave me an ear...I wondered if you knew whose it was.

Ah, I see you got a new stain on your jacket.

Uh, I gotta go stare at things in my shed.

You know what I’d like to do, Mickey? Delouse you.

Ah, her favorite symbol...a pyramid balanced on oranges.

I had a victim in the oven!

The movie that dares to graphically depict sometimes seeing peacocks, and sometimes NOT seeing peacocks!

This movie should really be called Screaming SEMICOLON Skull.

Well...might as well start making that smut movie I’ve been talking about.

I threw a body part up on the roof. Can you help me?

Something’s staying crunchy, even in milk.

Can we help you, Movie Lady? Do you need a push or something?

Ah...good thing she’s able to see that with her remote camera attached to the flexible hose.

If that turns out to be her husband, I’m just gonna return the unused portion of this movie.

Remember, folks, if you die of boredom, you do NOT get a free coffin...sorry.

Y’know, all this time, we could’ve been watching an apple brown.

That skull probably laid eggs already, so that doesn’t do any good.

Ah, why did my husband and I agree to sleep in different movies?

So, they put a tiny bit of movie in a box and then just filled the rest with a bunch of foam peanuts.

She had one nostril enlarged for the role.

The skull has been perfectly civil through all of this, I gotta say.

Eric...do you like mayonnaise?

Now I’ll enter your dimension.

You’re a lifesaver...I can’t believe I ran out of holy water!

Now, Jenny, there’s no need for that. There’s other skulls you can play with.

You know, the Gospel speaks of losers like you.

I found a screaming hipbone, if that helps.

I think I’ll slip down to Cambodia for a moment.

Havin’ his own three-legged race.

Ah, so he checks Mickey’s villa in the south of France.

Why did you call me Donna?

Mickey’s trying to lead them away from his eggs.

So I’m going pole-vaulting is what I’m saying.

We’ll have to advance to my “burning small animals” therapy.

Ah, I’d scare Mickey with it, but he’s got a pile of them under his bed already.

I ain’t sharin’ this with no one!

Her parents drowned in a tub full of eggs.

When Jenni was put away in that hospital, I’d steal her Jell-O.

There’s the rock I used to crush the skull of my FIRST wife.

I’m gonna see if Mickey’d eat this for a quarter.

This movie’s original title was “Looking for Mickey.”

If Ed Wood had directed “Rules of the Game.”

We’ve had a pretty good marriage...it’s been three days and I haven’t killed her yet.

I’d like to say goodbye...and I’d like to say “celery.”

Well, apparently he killed a crossdressing beekeeper, as well.

Ah, their furniture still hasn’t arrived...that’s a subplot that’s just gone NOWHERE.

Oh, she’s playing her Yoko Ono records again!

So this movie is kind of a combination of Tell-Tale Heart, Blithe Spirit and...well, a piece of lint, I guess.

It’s the “Show Us Your Live Wife and Win a Million Dollars” people.

It’s like a scary Benny Hill sketch.

He’s being compelled to hold a skull against his neck!

I should’ve married that nice Mr. von Bülow.

More skulls arrive in a cab.

Let the length of my face comfort you.

Should we call the cops? Well, we didn’t last time and it seemed to work out.

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The 2 BEST riff of this movie.............

"There, There, come see Uncle Lady", and,

"GET A BOX!"

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Oh, it's those robots that I hired to do the yardwork for me.

Come on out, you son of a...., I mean, my son.

Is the camers still on me? Are we still rolling here?

Just need to adjust you...there you go.

But if you ever wanna swap wives, just let me know.

You're mental, aren't you?

The fire is almost out. We'd better put you in to keep it going.

And I want you to sit on this candle.

And that ends my narration.

There's my friend, Bob Skull. Did I mention him?

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"It's like a buffet of victims. I just don't know where to start!"

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The entire Gumby short but notably:

Gumby: Look outside, Mother!
Servo: Pokey left a big surprise in your begonias!

Servo as Gumbo: I'm gonna glaze your backside, young man!

Crow as Pokey: Uh-oh! My tail is lifting!

Crow: Bad move. Robots do NOT fight clean.

Mike: Yup, just gonna take this down to the shop.

Servo: Crackers? Wow! Maybe later we can have white rice!


Jenni: "Hello, Mickey."
Mike as Mickey: "Bonjour, my sweet."

Crow: Mickey, CNN-Atlanta

Mike as Jenni: That man, never finishes ANYTHING!"

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"Are you mad at me, clone-daddy?" -from MST3K "Parts: The Clonus Horror"

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[Jenny/Peggy Webber strips to her underwear]
Crow: Time to do that smut movie!

[Jenni's chased by Mary Anne's ghost. Her ghost is wearing a gardening dress, a hat, and a veil]
Mike Nelson: She's being chased by a cross-dressing beekeeper!

Crow: Windows '58.

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Wow, Mrs. Gumby is stacked.

Well, at least an oboe player got a paycheck out of this movie.

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If Adolph Hitler flew in today, you'd send a limousine anyway

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That's her bikini!
Mickey's a wide-awake nightmare!

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"Now give her your paw."

"Let's get this out of the way so that we have the rest of the day free to chase Mickey."

"Trick or treat for calcium!"


Good movies may draw an audience, but bad movies make a scene.

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