In the opening scenes, Ethan's brother Aaron reminds us that it was Ethan who found Marty after his parents were massacred. martin says he was told his family was part Cherokee bit also Welsh, so one assumes his mother was the red-headed person whose scalp we see, thus Ethan's ability to identify it as belonging to the mother of Martin, since he would have seen the body with it's remaining hair.
Any speculation about Ethan being the father of Martin is unfounded. Ethan wills his property to Martin out of loyalty and also because he thinks that even in death he can "win" his race war, and by dying he will at least get a legal document into the record saying Debbie should no longer be considered white, or his relative, or deserving of the family property.
We have to assume that whatever Ethan was going to say in the bunkhouse either remained unsaid, or came out in the end as the fact about Scar having killed his mother. His line is mostly a set up line to have Martin angrily interrupt him. Martin's character arc begins with him in submissive deference to Ethan and to Ranger authority but he gradually learns to fight for what he believes in, which includes the moment when he stands up to both Ward Bond and John Wayne in his insistence that he be allowed to try to rescue Debbie. He rescues her, saves himself by killing Scar (in self-defense) and does not participate in the massacre at the end. He then tries to stop Ethan (ineffectively but persistently) and follows the procession back to the Jorgensens with Debbie always in Ethan's possession.
It's worth noting that Martin tells Debbie something along the lines of "I've come to take you away from here," but NOT, "I've come to take you HOME" or "let's go home, Debbie" as Ethan says to her. Martin knows she doesn't belong at the Jorgensen's homestead necessarily, he's there to spare her form being killed first and the details will have to sort themselves out later.
In the novel, Martin and Debbie escape the final battle and flee into the wilderness, wary of BOTH war-like societies.
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