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Things I learned from watching THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

posted 14 years ago by Timescrew
50 replies | jump to latest

1. If you show up in Central Park looking like a tool, you're gonna get shot.

2. Its okay to let some stranger watch your kid and take him around town for awhile while there is a global panic and hunt for an escaped alien.

3. Aliens normally travel around with 5-6 cut and polished diamonds.

4. Newspaper hawkers are required by federal law to be just entering puberty with obnoxious nasally voices.

5. Young boys like screwballs.

6. The average 10 year old kid knows the address and exact directions to the city's most influential and intelligent scientist.

7. On other planets, breaking and entering is not a crime.

8. Passer-bys who witness an obvious breaking and entering are more offended by catching said trespassers scribbling on blackboards.

9. In times of global calamity, such as all electricity on the entire planet stopping, people will flock to their nearest national landmark to participate in the panic.

10. Its okay if a giant, all-powerful robot who was just about to disintegrate you and destroy the planet picks you up and carries you inside its spaceship.

11. A woman can spend 30 minutes in the elevator with a man they hardly know without any damage to her 1950's era reputation.

12. Its okay if we smoke in a hospital! Trust us, we're doctors.

13. .....

There is no flavor text!

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Samclyde2 14 years ago

14. Hospital security guards know that a patient is missing from his room before the guard even gets the door to the room 10% open.

[–] Ironman54 14 years ago

15. DC cab drivers are oblivious to passengers conversations.

16. Proper pronunciation is not critical in when communicating orders to robots.

17. The ability to solve the most complex formulas known to man in a matter of seconds does not mean you will know how to operate a Boy Scout flashlight.

18. To a space robot, 'Nic toe' means 'pick me up and bring me inside' and 'nic too' means 'do not destroy the planet'.

19. In the 50's people hung around radios anticipating imminent 'breaking news'
bulletins.

20. Flying saucers,having landed on the mall in DC, surrounded by tanks and machine guns,is "No reasonable cause for alarm ..."

20. When seeing a space robot for the first time, DC police officers have the ability to retreat 3 times as fast as anyone else.

21. The United nations doesn't represent all the nations..." (hey, some might not have known).

22. You can stare at a robot until 2am and he still may not move.

23. There is class distinction amongst 'Witch Doctors' - 3rd class apparently being incompetent.

24. Soldiers can not see well in the dark - even with headlights.

25. A space ship 'must come from another planet'.

26. Not all radio reporters have the ability to apply deductive reasoning
(see #25 above).

24. 'Democrats' were not people in the 50's.

25. Communists wouldn't come in space ships, they'd come in airplanes - if you know what I mean *wink*

26. In the 50's, it was ok to defer to a childs opinion as to who minds them for the day while you're away.

27. Jeep tires squeal on grass.

28. When confronted by a suspicious man the best course of action for a woman to take is to lead him to a secluded elevator.

29. Curiosity makes 'good science'.

30. Earthlings only understand 'violent action'.

31. Scientists in the 50s' were often ignored or misunderstood.

32. Aunt Bea sneaks out to play cards at night.

33. Music boxes amuse space men.

34. Learning that the man you are trapped alone with in a dark elevator is a space alien may not be as traumatic as you might think !

35. 'Plan B' and 'plan Baker' are one in the same.

36. 'Yellow cabs' in DC are not always painted yellow.

And last but not least:

37. Some flying saucers are 'wheel chair accessible'.

[–] Samclyde2 14 years ago

38. Gort will trust any Earthling he doesn't know, as long as the Earthling says "Klaatu barata nikto" to him.

39. Alien spacemen would make fantastic math teachers.

40. Mrs. Benson would be in deep you-know-what with Child Services if TDTESS happened in 2011 instead of 1951.

41. Army tank drivers like to do fun little skidding peel-outs with the tanks before they leave their bases to intercept a possible alien invasion.

42. Having no wars is a good idea.

42. Alien spacemen are moved by the Gettysburg Address.

[–] oldmotem 14 years ago

43. Your jealous boyfriend's attempt to save you from an alien relationship may well endanger the entire planet's future. And possibly yours, too.

44. Never approach an imposing alien robot with puny weapons drawn. Use very large ones only.

[–] aventer-1 13 years ago

45. The population of 1950 Washington D. C. was so jaded that after a few days even an alien spaceship was boring and nobody came to see it at night. Furthermore, two guys with rifles were enough security to guard it.

46. When you point the cannon of a tank at an enemy spaceship, good military protocol requires that you hedge your bet by having the tank driver point his pistol at the spaceship as well.

47. Space visitors are not particularly newsworthy so there is no need to photograph them. Once they escape they become newsworthy.

48. Space robots are possessed with ninja-like skills that allow them to walk across town, break into jails and walk back the way they came without being seen despite being seven feet tall and painted bright silver.

49. When soldiers manning a multitude of battle tanks see the enemy melting one of their tanks, their first reaction should be to jump out of their tanks and run away as opposed to firing at the enemy.

50. The landing site of a space ship, whose pilot is responsible for considerable panic and destruction, is a suitable venue for a meeting of scientists from all over the world since nothing dangerous would be likely to happen.

[–] TVholic 13 years ago

51. If the two guards you posted at the landing site are knocked out, post two and only two new ones.

52. If you see the robot begin to disintegrate its plastic prison, don't radio the report in to headquarters or shoot at it. Just slowly walk toward it as if you can do anything to it when you get closer.

53. Top generals must speak like radio newscasters with clipped, stilted speech in order to be obeyed.

54. If there's an escaped alien on the loose, don't impose martial law or even a curfew.

55. Listening to Earth broadcasts for years doesn't mean you've heard anything about some kind of world war about six years earlier.

56. If you're a space alien, your currency must be diamonds that are absolutely flawless. Any flaws would make them worthless. Change probably would be made with rubies, emeralds, amethysts, etc. And never develop anything like credit cards, debit cards, wire transfers, ACH or PayPal.

57. If an unknown female walks off the spacecraft with the alien, just watch her but don't question her. She's obviously an Earthling and not another alien that's been hiding inside the ship all along.

58. It's still light on the other side of the world even when it's high noon in Washington.

[–] TVholic 13 years ago

59. If you're broadcasting in Hindu, your studio microphone should be clearly labeled "Calcutta Radio" in English.

60. If you're a penniless alien who has to trade diamonds for $2 from a little boy, you'll still be able to get a room at a boarding house without any money down.

61. When going to a strange planet, bring your own currency on the off chance that they might accept it.

62. Tell the "smartest man on Earth" that you're prepared to offer a solution to the threat to the planet, but actually give nothing except "join us or die."

63. It's much easier to elude all of the military police at Walter Reed than it is to keep a young boy from following you.

[–] darylwathen 11 years ago

TVholic, you crack me up, no.61 is brilliant, so is no.58. :)

[–] TVholic 11 years ago

Actually, I've been told 58 is wrong. The time in Moscow would be 8 p.m. when it's noon in D.C. In mid-July, the sun doesn't set in Moscow until around 10 p.m.

[–] darylwathen 11 years ago

nah man, you were correct, its not only Moscow shown in that scene. Even the "goofs" mention it, unless you wrote the goofs yourself.

[–] sluggersports 10 years ago

No, you're wrong! I'm watching it right now. They show Washington D.C., New York City, London (which would have been 5PM), Paris (6PM) and Moscow (8PM), but that's it for other countries. They also show what seems to be some Mid-western dairy farm. A stuck roller-coaster (Coney Island maybe?), a stopped New Haven train, a newspaper printing press and some others, but all U.S.A. This takes place in summer, so there would still be daylight. And for all the contributors don't quit your day jobs.

[–] TVholic 13 years ago

64. Refuse to tell Barnhardt what the message is because "it is too important to be entrusted to any individual," as if telling one person means Klaatu could never tell anyone else afterwards. But at the same time, bring one gift only for the President of the United States so he can study life on the other planets. That's sure not playing favorites.

[–] manage-932-700755 13 years ago

Who cares about your sarcasm?

[–] hugo-hxc-1984 12 years ago

I do. This thread is way better than the movie...

The world isn't against you, my dear, it just doesn't care

[–] manage-932-700755 12 years ago

There are people who like to give sarcasm and read it. I assume you are one of these people. I feel sorry for such people, who derive enjoyment from reading sarcasm on movie threads.

[–] hugo-hxc-1984 12 years ago

Feel sorry for yourself and for your lack of sense of humor mate, you're weird as 7uck..

The world isn't against you, my dear, it just doesn't care

[–] blackferret-1 12 years ago

65. Having a weapon that can destroy a city is evil and barbaric, but having a weapon that can destroy a planet is perfectly acceptable.

[–] Timescrew 12 years ago

Nice!

_________________________________________
There is no flavor text!

[–] mike-848 11 years ago

66. If your an illegal alien, but from another planet, you don't have to look for a job picking lettuce.

[–] pusterummet 11 years ago

67. "Jittery" is the word!

[–] Ethereal-Cloud 11 years ago

68. When a spaceship from another planet lands, the first thing you want to do is go to work on it with a blow-torch, and a jackhammer.

[–] maxhampton 11 years ago

Aunt Bee was a right winger

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die

[–] sumankey13 11 years ago

all mechanical things stop on earth for 30 minutes, but her watch is still working...she says it's 12:30 after looking at her watch

[–] Verdi4331 11 years ago

all mechanical things stop on earth for 30 minutes, but her watch is still working...she says it's 12:30 after looking at her watch

All things using electricity (except hospitals and planes in flight) stopped working....not mechanical watches. Only reason I knew this were seeing TV programs and movies mentioning mechanical watches.

[–] MudgeMalog 11 years ago

69. If all the power is turned off on Earth, your watch will still run.
70. If power is off for 30 minutes, it's easy to find out that hospitals and airplanes stil have power.
71. Alien space ships look exactly like flying saucers from comic books.
72. Little boys have to wear neckties when they go out and play.
73. People will assume an alien will have 3 eyes and tentacles even though there were 100s of witnesses.

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ozjeppe 10 years ago

81. Always travel alone when bringing the most important message ever to an alien civilization on another planet. Surely, nothing can go wrong that could require a multiple crew for back-up.
82. When bringing a robot along, make sure you pick the slowest one possible.
83. For the same robot, bring no electronic communication means between one another, should you ever get in trouble.
83. The central female character is a short-haired brunette in normal clothing – but make sure you feature a long-haired, skimpy-dressed blonde for the poster.

'Follow the white rabbit'

[–] SpiltPersonality 10 years ago

84. When making first contact with an aggressive and warlike primitive race, walk down the ramp with an object that is totally unrecognizable by them and flick it in a dramatic way that makes them think it's a weapon.

SpiltPersonality

[–] TKBoss76 10 years ago

85. Humans are d_ickheads.

86. Matters of life and death are reserved for, "The Almighty Spirit"!

[–] KobiyashiMauru 10 years ago

87. Major Carpenter and Klaatu have exactly the same measurements and clothing style tastes.

88. Since Major Carpenter and Klaatu have the same measurements and clothing styles, it was nice of the Army to room them so close together at Walter Reed.

89. I guess diamonds are an alien's best friend also.

90. On other worlds there are trains without tracks but it will cost you a diamond or two to ride them.

👽👾👽👾👽👾

[–] gamertrav 10 years ago

91. Gort was built from the same stuff as the spacecraft, which even diamond cutters and welders couldn't penetrate. Later in the film this material is revealed to be....rubber pants.

[–] powersroc 10 years ago

92.Klaatu is able to escape the hospital room while under guard totally undetected,but unable to get back on board his spacecraft unless Gort knocks out the military guards.

[–] icaptainchaos 9 years ago

93. Soldiers in the US Army needed to have better hearing tests, as on a quiet night, they can't hear a 10 feet tall giant robot clomping up behind them (probably quite loudly).

94. Gort thought that the flashlight/torch light flashing meant "go over & knock those two guards out" when ACTUALLY he meant "can you pop into the spaceship & get me some more space diamonds that I can exchange for very little money"

[–] Shuggy 9 years ago

Re.71: Fair go, this film copied the Adamski "saucer" and the comic books largely copied this film.

All that is visible must grow beyond itself...
http://www.cafepress.co.uk/ahua/8761658

[–] ncsr11 9 years ago

95. The Mall in Washington, D.C. used to be reserved for baseball diamonds during the 1950s, esp. where the Vietnam Memorial Wall is today.