seriously?
I'm very surprised that this movie has so many fans, it this a movie advocating women to forgive their cheating husbands?
am I missing something??
I like the fact that there are no man in the movie, but I dislike the fact that the movie is all about man.
Anyone willing to share their perception of this movie?
Yeah, you're missing something. The fact that this movie was made in 1939 and that its a product of its time. Options for women were limited back then so yeah, women were told by society to just deal when it came to adultery, etc.
Is that a great message? No but again, it was 1939. Complaining or being aghast about that kind of thing in a movie that's 74 years old is like clutching your pearls because Gone With the Wind has slave characters.
It's not a poor message. Forgiveness is wonderful and if the foundation of the marriage is strong and it wasn't a serial cheater, trying to make a relationship heal is well worth the trouble. Not all spouses deserve a second chance but there are certainly there are marriages that are worthy of saving. It has happened, even in this day with happy results.
shareIt's a question of trade-offs. A married couple actually can weather an affair on the part of one of the partners. Mary had had ten years of a happy married life with a husband she still loved, and a child. The movie suggests that Stephen was apparently going through a stressful time and was vulnerable to the wiles of Crystal (who gets too much of the blame here, imo). When Mary walked out, Crystal was right there to scoop him up.
Mary and Steve both got their divorces, but they got a lot of heartache too while they were apart, and they realized they still loved each other and that was more important than saving face. It's just one story and one woman's choice. The other women chose other options when their marriages ran into trouble.
I agree with you completely. After almost 30 years of marriage I would fight for my marriage. Stephen was a good man it seems who made a terrible mistake and was contrite at the end of movie.movie Not because he was discovered but because he was sorry for destroying what was precious to him and hurting the most important and worthy woman in his life. Not blaming Mary, as the hubby should speak up instead of cheating, but some women get so caught up in other things they forget their husband is a man who needs to feel wanted, not just needed. I would TRY to give my marriage a go if this was a 1 time thing and he agreed to counseling, etc because I feel it and he are worth it. But it would be hard and there would be no promises that I could ultimately heal and forgive him. But in my personal situation I know I'd want to try. Everyone must decide based on their marriage and willingness to forgive. I don't think attempting to save a once great marriage should ever be considered a poor idea.
shareI see nothing wrong with her deciding to stay with her husband and work out their marriage. They were married for several years and still loved one another. They had child together.
shareCrystal was a ho anyway. So Stephen did get his comeuppance after he married her and she started showing her true colors. It's not as if Stephen got off scot-free.
shareIsn't that right! If Mary had stayed and fought for him Crystal wouldn't have been able to so easily scoop him up while she was in Reno! It appeared to me that Stephen was vulnerable and Crystal saw the neon sign and knew exactly what to do from the moment he walked in the store! To me Mary's mom ecplained it well.
I do SO adore and cherish my husband. Cherish him, our marriage, our children and the life we've built over many years so I'd fight like hell to keep him. He, like Stephen, would not by nature "just cheat. There were needs unmeet (not just sexually). While some men would suffer quietly, others would hopefully communicate these needs with their wife, while others still would cheat and even worse seek it out. Stephen feel into Crystal's web before he could realize it and once there wanted out. Sadly, when Mary so readily walked out Crystal was there to wrap him tighter and start filling him with poison. The cheating was wrong but in my opinion the ease at which Mary handed HER husband over to a counter girl, even with her mom's wise words and experience, was the wrong path for THAT marriage. Now if I was the Duchess and Buck was a money, fame seeking cheater looking for the easy way from the beginning then his tush would be out on the curb without so much as his favorite coffee mug!
I thought this movie was actually progressive for 1939. It's not like Mary took her mother's advice. She confronted her husband about his affair and divorced him in spite of his pleas for them to stay together. For instance this line Mary said was very progressive: "Oh, mother, it's easy for you to talk about a prior generation when women wore shackles and did as men told them, but this is today. Steven and I are equals. And women who stand for such things are beneath contempt, that's all; and it's wrong, shockingly wrong, and I won't qualify it!" Isn't this exactly the message you're saying should have been in this movie? It was. The happy ending comes after Steven "cries his eyes out" before going to sleep (according to the daughter), so it could be said he has his heart broken and learns his lesson. Mary on the other hand just steals him back. Submissive? I think not.
Mary was a coward. That's what her friend in Reno told her and it's the truth. Just watch the maid telling the cook about the conversation taking place btw Mary and Steven. He was begging and she was twisting his words and throwing everything back at him. When things got tough she ran him off then skipped town for a Reno divorce. Spoiled rich girl.
shareWell, Mary learned the hard way and got the chance to grow from it. I think they had been married for only 10 years. Steven was probably just entering middle age when they split up. My husband and I have been married for almost 30 years now, and at some point things get a lot more serene after retirement and childrearing are no longer issues. We may be falling apart physically, but things about each other don't get under our skin.
shareStephen was the lying coward.
shareI thought this movie was actually progressive for 1939. It's not like Mary took her mother's advice. She confronted her husband about his affair and divorced him in spite of his pleas for them to stay together. For instance this line Mary said was very progressive: "Oh, mother, it's easy for you to talk about a prior generation when women wore shackles and did as men told them, but this is today. Steven and I are equals. And women who stand for such things are beneath contempt, that's all; and it's wrong, shockingly wrong, and I won't qualify it!" Isn't this exactly the message you're saying should have been in this movie? It was. The happy ending comes after Steven "cries his eyes out" before going to sleep (according to the daughter), so it could be said he has his heart broken and learns his lesson. Mary on the other hand just steals him back. Submissive? I think not.
You are so right! I had mixed feelings about this film and almost didn't give it a chance. I'm so glad I saw it and have seen it many times since then!
It explores a woman's options and has many, many thoughts and viewpoints from a very diverse female cast, even the extras and women with bit parts are so wonderful and colorful! That's one of the film's many great qualities that make it stand the test of time! Unlike that godawful remake that oversimplified everything and simply gave Mary a career as a solution to suddenly become worthy of her husband's affections again. *gag*
I do SO adore and cherish my husband. Cherish him, our marriage, our children and the life we've built over many years so I'd fight like hell to keep him. He, like Stephen, would not by nature "just cheat. There were needs unmeet (not just sexually). While some men would suffer quietly, others would hopefully communicate these needs with their wife, while others still would cheat and even worse seek it out. Stephen feel into Crystal's web before he could realize it and once there wanted out. Sadly, when Mary so readily walked out Crystal was there to wrap him tighter and start filling him with poison.
What do you mean "readily"? It took a LOT for Mary to leave that marriage. First, she went away to Bermuda with her mother for a couple of weeks. Sure, he spent more time with Mary, but that didn't stop Stephen from continuing to see Crystal. Quite the contrary, he started buying her an expensive wardrobe, leading to that awful, humiliating exchange between Mary and Crystal. On top of that, Mary finds out Crystal actually lunched with Stephen and her daughter! Happened to be walking in the park, my ass!
Sure, it was Edith who ultimately spilled the beans to a reporter and broke the last straw on Mary's back. But, it was ultimately Stephen's fault. The nerve of that cad trying to blame others like Mary's friends for *his* actions. If Stephen had stopped seeing Crystal or, better yet, not started anything in the first place, the divorce wouldn't have happened. The big dope didn't even bother to call Mary until after he had already married Crystal!
FYI: I'm currently watching the movie now on Turner Classic Movies as a part of the June Spotlight on Gay Hollywood. That's why I'm so worked up over it now. Just got done with the scene where Miriam winds up Mary into fighting for her marriage... Only for Stephen to call Mary up and tell her he already married Crystal. :(
EDIT, 7/22/2017: Stephen didn't seem to be in want of anything. He and Mary seemed to have a very fulfilling marriage. But, but if there were needs being "unmeet," that doesn't give him the right to cheat on a faithful wife. I wish Mary had "readily" walked out on Stephen, but unfortunately it took a lot for her to do that. She's too good for an idiot like that husband of hers.
I liked the movie except for a few things.... The constant jabbering of the women. The dialog was too fast and quipped the entire movie. I was not crazy for the ending,,I know it was 1939 but I was proud of her for being strong and showing her daughter a woman can do it on her own.
I did love Joan Crawford, only because I love her in anything. She was very pretty in this movie, unlike many of her later films. But she is different. Always has been. No actress has ever been similar to her.
Sweet movie, but it did give me a slight headache by the end, lol
I liked the movie except for a few things.... The constant jabbering of the women. The dialog was too fast and quipped the entire movie. I was not crazy for the ending,,I know it was 1939 but I was proud of her for being strong and showing her daughter a woman can do it on her own.
Well, you have to remember that is what Mary wanted. Nowadays in a lot movies, characters have to forego wants and needs that seem consistent with the character's development for mostly political and audience agendas. In that situation character and story cease to become character and story and simply become a statement, which should be an addition to the character and story, not a substitution.
I used to mind the ending as well. But, because it was consistent with Mary and her character and it was something she wholeheartedly went after, I didn't mind it as much.
Yes I see your point of view
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The husband who cheated on his wife was spoiled rich coward. She should have committed to dump his worthless cheating self and whistle while she left. I also hated where she had to be this and that for husband. Yet all he had to do was be nothing but cheating scumbag. Disgusting... He got off completely free.
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