IMHO in both the book and the film, he rejected Scarlett at the beginning of the story because he knew damn well they'd make each other miserable, and that he knew she'd destroy his delicate self-esteem when she realized he wasn't the man her hormones told her she was. Hell, he was a perceptive guy and may have realized that Scarlett would make any husband miserable, and sure enough she made all three of hers deeply unhappy!
Still, everyone who rejects a hottie they know they're incompatible with has at least some regrets, and of course Ashley did. So his feelings at the wedding had to be a combination of frustrated lust, sympathy for the poor simp she was marrying, joy that he was marrying someone who'd make him happy in all kinds of ways, and guilt because he was off the hook and Hamilton was on it.
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