Judith please

OK NP can't right now.

I will post it tonight.

The Ritz Theater, A Rising Good Time.
By Marlene Murray

Good morning readers,

Last night I was sent to cover the local amateur night contest at the Ritz theater. The first place prize was a generous ten dollars. I arrive a bit early and took my seat just off the isle in the middle to sit right stage, I had a perfect view. As I looked around I saw the usual Fathers, mother’s, aunts, uncles and assorted relatives and friends. I was not expecting much in the way of talent as I looked at the program line up. It was an assortment of kiddy acts and I almost began to regret being asked to cover the show. Just then there was a bit of a ruckus to my left as a gang of children rushed into two rows of the seats across from me. I felt that this was to be a long night.

The first act up was named Tom and Jerry the Arizona nightingales. They were about what I expected to see at a show like this, Not bad but not all the great either. I settled in and took off my wrap. I have to admit that there were some surprises. There was a fine family of singers know as the Five Kavin Kids and the Flora Dora Dollies were rather cute. There was also a tap dance number that was more then decent. Though there was one little girl she was listed as Daisy Dimple, dancer par excellent. When she first came on the gang of children to my left let out a rousing cheer. The MC looked to his left and there we saw a child in a Roman soldier’s outfit waving these children on and a hand grabbed the child back. Well the Girl was now reintroduced and the poor thing just stood there terrified. She ran off the stage followed by laughter. Well while the tap dance was going on a woman came down was talked the children and went back stage.

The next act up was announced as Spanky junior the Noblest Roman of them all. I began to get read to go to sleep when there was a loud crash from the darkened stage. The light came to rest on the kicking feet of the little actor who seemed to have fallen and was tangled in his cape. This just might be interesting I thought and was I right! As this Roman began to recite Shakespeare a barrage of peas was shot at him and he blocked it with his shield! We all began to laugh this was no ordinary recital! He trudged on with his lines and continued to block barrage after barrage yelling from behind his upraised shield. Then during his recital his shield broke and as he bent down to pick it up as they shot him in his behind. Though the tears of laughter and the sound of horns and jeers I looked on as he slammed his foot and his visor came down and got stuck! He wandered back and forth across the stage trying to lift it up. There was a woman that was briefly seen as she started to enter the stage from the left and was pulled back.

Then during this ruckus several stage lights suddenly popped. Then as the piano player rested his head on his piano laughing a pole suddenly came over the edge of the stage and pulled his toupee off. I looked up and could now notice the curtain moving a bit where it must come together. I curious but could not stop laughing at stage antics. Then suddenly our brave Roman fell to the stage and seemed to be struggling as his hands turned white knuckled as he held on to the edge. Then suddenly a woman appeared from between the curtain sliding on her knees. It was the same one who had talked to the children earlier! She was pulling our Roman soldier off the stage! We laughed at the sight yet it was to get better! As she struggled and pulled we could see our stout worthy soldier resisting and kicking. He seemed just about within reach of the woman then she suddenly knelt up and it was seen that the curtain was rising on her and her dress along with it! Her mouth open wide her words and yell for help drowned out by the uproar as her slip was being reveled. She grabbed the curtain and stood tiring desperately to grab her rapidly rising dress. Then as it reached her midsection she turned back towards the manically laughing audience in a last ditch effort to grab the end of the curtain and her dress. Then there was a resounding RIP, as it was pulled off her and rose to new heights along with the curtain! She stood there in her slip, barrette, stockings and heels in dumbfounded shock, her hands covering the tops of her breasts. I guess it was Spanky junior’s mother and out little soldier ran off to the right of the stage and came back out pushing a stand behind prop in front of her and pushed close to her covering her up. Well readers I would like to say that his efforts to spare her further embarrassment were successful but the prop was that of a dog whose fur matched the woman’s honey blonde hair so perfectly that it completed the illusion of her sitting on her haunches howling for her lost dress! So my loyal readers I just had to share this hilarious comedy of errors with you this morning. All in all it was a Rising Good Time at the Ritz Theater last night and we all should thank Mrs. Judith McFarland for helping to provide a night of laughter that will not soon be forgotten!