What was so great about the soldiers?
All they could do was march in a straight line - their weapons looked like they were made out of balsa wood and snapped when they came into contact with a doorframe or whatever. How did they get the better of those fearsome bogeymen, who really looked like they were hopped up on something?
Not to mention the pigs laying a trap for the bogeymen and then hitting them on the head with a...balloon on a stick.
Awight we're The Daamned we're a punk baand and this is called Carn't Be Appy T'day!