I'd make a terrible Men's Rights Activist Not O/T

Inspired by the superb Adrienne Apalucci https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MspWF11sV0o

Re-write for our purposes:

""I'd make a terrible MRA, and so would most of us everyday guys, if we're being honest with ourselves. Every red blooded heterosexual man on this planet is rubbing one out to Amber Heard naked in The Informers; two hours worth of her confessing to beating up Johnny Depp and plotting to ruin his career didn't change that. I seriously forgot how hot those scenes of her riding that dude while toking on a bong, and then later on that three way were, until I was Googling Johnny Boy's lawsuit against The Sun, and stumbled across Pornhub footage of Amber instead

Obviously I won't put down cash on any future movie she headlines..... Unless it features a scene of her and Eiza González leasing it out in a hot tub. If you're not culling gratification out of Amber's scenes in The Informers, or her running around in a bikini in The Stepfather remake, you're essentially rebuffing God's attempts to make up for Jonestown, The Killing Fields Of Cambodia, Pinochet's reign in Chile..... Ya know, all that really heinous shit that happened pre-86, they year Amber was born. You may not like everything about your local casino, but we always speak well of it, on account of all the good it brings to our lives otherwise"