"Ice Ice Baby" in Shakespearean!

Celebrating my 4,000th post with this gem!

"POP SONNETS: Shakespearean Spins on Your Favorite Songs"
by Erik Didriksen (Quirk Books, 2015, P. 101)

First, an excerpt from the actual song:

"Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with a brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
flow that a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance
rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it
You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye
The kid don't play
And if there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice ice baby Vanilla
Ice ice baby Vanilla
Ice ice baby Vanilla
Ice ice baby Vanilla"

Now, Shakespeare approved:

"Now cease thy talking; prithee, hear my words!
This newly written sonnet I'll recite.
The Muse hath gripp'd my mortal soul and spurr'd
it swiftly forth, just like a spear in flight.
O, will its inspirations ever quit?
I do not know; if thou shouldst turn out
the lights herein, I shall glow emit
and, like a candle, wax a common lout.
It is a crime to not perform thy best,
but greatness is well worth its heavy price.
Pray tell thy mother "word" at my behest -
a missive from the bard Vanilla Ice.
- If thou hast problems, I'll them all allay;
now mark the melodies my minstrels play."

~~/o/