A few things…

1) King Richard was a fine enough film as far as sports movies go, but Academy Award worthy? Give me a break.

2) Why must every article about this incident refer to Will Smith and Chris Rock as “black men”? Why can’t they just be men? How is this approach not racist, and what will it take for people to finally shut up about race in this country?

3) This is clearly Jada’s fault. Her smug face during Will’s acceptance speech really says it all. Absolute cringe.

4) Since when is being bald a handicap? Don’t make me laugh, America.

5) Why are women obsessed with being treated as equals, but then can’t take being roasted like men?

6) Why is Lorenzo’s Oil the best film ever made? How is it even possible for a movie to be that good?

7) Lastly, and most importantly…what exactly does it mean to be a “river to my people”? I’d love an answer on that, because my girlfriend and I have been scratching our heads all day about it. Is it possible for me to create a river of Lorenzo’s oil that will flow to each and every one of you, or is it some kind of religious thing?