MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > Quickest way to sabotage your sobriety

Quickest way to sabotage your sobriety

posted 9 months ago by mechajutaro (2788)
35 replies | jump to latest

Is for your recovery organization to introduce pseudoprogressive, illiberal Wokeness into the program. This is happening at 12 Steps https://unherd.com/2023/05/how-alcoholics-anonymous-lost-its-way/ , and I’m sad to report that the recovery organization I’ve served as a facilitator with since 2014 (SMART Recovery)has also been derailed from our mission, after making the unforgivably foolish decision to elevate our first DEI coordinator-a man who’d only been a facilitator at the local level, from 2017 to 2020-to the office of Executive Director in 2022. Once there, he wasted no time pulling the sort underhanded jackassery that’s by now rote among Woke Warriors of stripes, by sending out the following newsletter, encouraging every SMART meeting on the planet to forego rationality and empiricism, in favor of embracing idiocy and prejudice:

"Considering Power Dynamics in Our Meetings

First in a series of a communications about Empowerment from Executive Director Pete Rubinas

Power dynamics exist any time human beings gather in community with one another, and our self-management mutual support group meetings are no exception. Noticing and attending to the power dynamics that exist in our meetings is critical as facilitators. Not doing so is a barrier to empowerment that we should all be concerned about if we want our meetings to be safe places for all participants to pursue their recovery journeys.

What do we mean by power? In this context, we are referring to the real and perceived agency that one has over one’s own life and circumstances. There are a variety of factors that help to determine the relative power that an individual perceives in a given situation. Consider these examples:

Accumulated Recovery Time

Closeness to the Facilitator

Financial Security

Relationship Security

Education Level

Gender

Gender Identity

Sexual Orientation

Race

Age

Physical Health and Ability

Mental Health and Ability

History of Trauma

While there are no absolutes as we consider the relative

power of individuals in our meetings, we generally learn enough about participants to be able to recognize when an interpersonal situation is occurring between individuals that are not equally “powerful” at that time. It is crucial in those situations that we, the trained facilitators, intervene as necessary to reinforce the agency of the less powerful party to describe their experiences in their terms without judgment from other group members. If a participant is new to the group, we should assume that they are at a relative power disadvantage simply as a newcomer.

Telling new or less powerful participants to use a SMART tool or how to use a SMART tool in response to a share is NOT what we are trained to do when a participant shares something vulnerable with the group. Instead, we should validate the person’s experience, ask how the group can provide support, and use our motivational interviewing skills to explore the share with the participant if they are interested in doing so. If a fellow participant, especially a more powerful participant, invalidates a person’s share, we should remind them that we don’t give direct advice in SMART Recovery and proceed with the steps above.

SMART Recovery is an incredible tool for empowerment when it’s implemented in a way that respects that not every person is starting off on a level power playing field. I hope that you’ll join me in reflecting on this topic with an open mind in the spirit of continuous improvement and wanting SMART Recovery to not just be accessible to all, but also empowering for all. Peace, Pete Rubinas (he/him/his)"

I’ll put forth a point by point refutation of this nonsense a bit later, once my phone has recharged and I’ve taken a nap. For now though, I’m curious:

Has anyone else been to a support group lately, only to discover that everyone present is hesitating to say much of anything, for fear that they’ll be labelled “problematic”? Has anyone found that the discussion frequently isn’t even focused on the most effective ways of resisting our addictive urges, and instead veers off into babbling about Privilege/Systems Of Power/Structural Injustices/Marginalized People/Toxic Masculinity?

[–] parkerbot (9115) 9 months ago

Further proof you're on your own at the end of the day.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

True. Self-reliance is more and more necessary everyday

[–] nyctc7 (43629) 9 months ago

AA has always been completely overrated.

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

It does a lot of good work. But it's a religious cult. Higher Power is their shapeshifting god no matter how they try to dress it up.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Dunno about AA specifically, but the buzzwords present in the email within The OP make it painfully apparent... SMART Recovery is yet another organization that's in the grips of Institutional Capture, as described here
https://fifthprincipleproject.org/2023/01/19/where-do-we-go-from-here/

“Institutional Capture” is a reference to the many institutions that have been completely or partially captured by the new, illiberal leftist ideology, which goes by many names: “woke,” “the successor ideology,” Critical Theories, “The Elite,” and so on. This ideology sells itself as a social justice ideology, but has not, in fact, had demonstrable success in changing the lives of those it purports to help – usually referred to loosely as “members of marginalized groups,” nor does it have support from the rank and file of most of these groups. The typical adherent of these ideologies is white, college educated, and has a history of being on the left or progressive. They both claim to speak for the “marginalized” while at the same time saying that the voices of the marginalized should be centered. However, they continue to take positions that are anathema to majorities in those groups.

Latinos overwhelmingly dislike the term “Latinx.” The black community in Minneapolis soundly defeated police reform centered on defunding police. Few trans people support California’s new policy of allowing any male who will claim a female identity to be housed in women’s prisons.

Institutions that are captured are characterized by a lack of free expression of ideas, members fear contradicting some often-fuzzy norm, shunning, punishments, or firing of those who resist the new ideology.

Ideologues do not deal in evidence and reason and even denounce reason. Beliefs should be based not on a careful examination of evidence but on “lived experience.” They decide whose “lived experience” counts. Their approach and framing are the only true doctrine.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Cont:

Those who argue with the “woke” are not met with considered, reasoned, counter-arguments. Rather they face attacks on their character and are called “racists,” “transphobes,” “homophobes,” right winger, or a FOX news addict. You are even accused of promoting violence and genocide. Language is used not to elucidate but to confuse and has ever-changing meanings, not unlike “newspeak.” Orthodoxy is paramount. Intent doesn’t matter. Hurt feelings are evidence of malfeasance, but if your feelings are hurt, you are fragile.

Institutions of Higher Education
Institutions of Higher Education have been institutionally captured all over the country, in part or in whole. The most famous instance is Evergreen College, but many of the elite schools: Harvard, MIT, Yale, Smith, Reed, Middlebury, Berkeley, and not-so-elite schools, have fallen to this illiberal culture that seeks conformity over truth.

The ACLU has stopped its robust defense of free speech and has taken extreme, illiberal positions on freedom of information, cruel and unusual punishment, etc.
The Southern Poverty Law Center has been captured. NPR, the NYT, the Guardian, and most liberal media has skewed coverage to appease the “woke” members of staff.
Publishers have been pushed to decline books by the younger, woke staff members; even books that were selling very well in England could not find a publisher here for political reasons.
Again, these books and articles are not extreme and are usually written by people who thought of themselves as Left or moderate until that position seemed to be captured. Due process in firing has gone by the wayside, and democratic processes have been undermined in many of the ”woke” institutions.

Unitarian Universalist Association
The Unitarian Universalist Association headquartered in Boston has been institutionally captured.

Theological education and the certification of UU clergy have been captured

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Cont:

The UUMA has been captured, and thus the institutional arms of the ministry.
However, we do not know about our churches. Some are captured. Some are not. There are many in between. We have no idea what the numbers are. We also know that most UUs in the pew have little idea what is happening or has happened and tend to find out from a captured minister — one already in place or, more often, a newly minted one. Some new “woke” clergy have been ejected. Many “unwoke” parish members have been ejected or slipped away. The nominating committee has violated the will of GA and our By-Laws for nominating only one candidate for President of the UUA, an admitted CRT ideologue who has racial intimidation to silence others.

Amongst us, there are the folks who see this new, illiberal, ideology, as an orthodoxy – a new religion of sorts. Of these folks, John McWhorter says, there is no dialogue because they are not operating out of the same frame of reference, nor do they believe in a meeting of minds – trying to change their minds is like trying to get a Fundamentalist Christian to give up Jesus.

There are those in an in-between space. Amongst those, the ones who can be reached are the ones who share a belief in freedom, reason, and tolerance and the idea that talking to people who differ can be educational and even help us refine our own thinking. The truth is more important to them than any particular ideology. Then there are those who see the capture and grieve the loss of freedom, reason, tolerance, and grace, in Unitarian Universalism and want to return to or keep what I would call, “UU Classic,” a democratic faith, without orthodoxy, that believes in continuing revelation, a search for truth, and that only with a free exchange of ideas can we refine and develop our beliefs and commitments. It does not divide people by race, ethnicity, sex, age, or other “identities.”

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Sadly, that email in The OP was from the current Executive Director at SMART Recovery. An organization which professes a commitment to rationality and empiricism. This fella(The ED of SMART Recovery, that is)claims to be a Duke grad, yet he apparently never encountered either of those two concepts during his years of training

[–] [deleted] 9 months ago

do you have a drinking problem?

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

Are you implying he's drunk?

[–] [deleted] 9 months ago

not necessarily

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

I was playing a bit.

[–] twinA (4921) 9 months ago

Kind of related; when it comes to men having social support or getting them to commit to something without them feeling forced or being talked into it, is to have a barbeque or such, basically an area to be able to let their guard down and chill out with. I don't know if this helps your topic but just wanted to throw this out here.

~~/o/

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Barbecues in our own backyards are increasingly one of the few places all of us can speak freely without someone jumping to conclusions

[–] twinA (4921) 9 months ago

With political division, the best thing one can do is to not find a friend but be a friend to others. Take the time to get to know them, taking an interest in their likes and day, being a good listener.

~~/o/

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Agree with you completely. Sadly, what you describe is rapidly becoming a lost art

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

I see nothing "woke" there. It's just about respect.

I attend AA. Oldtimers do lord it over newcomers. There's a hell of a lot of Christian proselytizing which undermines the concept of Higher Power. AA is not exclusively Christian. There's homophobia. And I've been to meetings where drug addicts were dismissed by alcoholics as being irrelevant.

Nothing wrong with humbling everyone a bit.

So please give me an exact example how there is anything liberal wrongheaded and "woke" biased about that message? I think you're over reacting.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

There's nothing remotely liberal about Rubinas's newsletter. He's encouraging facilitators and participants alike to put things like skin color, gender, sexual orientation, etc etc front and center, and to then jump to the conclusions("Watch what you say to them. Because of their complexion/gender/sexual orientation, etc etc, they're too intellectually and psychologically fragile to cope with what they might here")based on these same traits. THAT is incredibly racist/sexist/homophobic/classist/ableist, and not remotely consistent with small l, textbook liberalism

Had he really just been encouraging all participants to treat one another with respect, he would've simply said that. This sneaky shit he's pulling is downright DISRESPECTFUL

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

I really don't see how your fears would play out in an anonymous meeting. I really don't.

I think he's just saying make room for a guy in a wheelchair and don't tell fag jokes in the parking lot.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

I didn't envision such things playing out at SMART Recovery either, until it started happening. We've lost 50% of our meetings, in no small part due to the fact that all it takes to get censured/censored is for one-three habitually offended participants to lodge the most vague of complaints with HQ

This all eerily similar to the meltdowns that are regularly occurring at university campuses, and James Bennet, Bari Weiss, and a few other veteran reporters being forced to resign from The NYT, after the Preferred pronoun using, Safe Space-loving whackadoodles on staff began screeching "We FEEL unsafe"

The parking lot isn't the meeting room. Last I checked, the 1st Amendment hadn't been rescinded, and folks are free to tell jokes with the word "fag"(and anything else they wish)in them when they're out there, so long as they're keeping their voices down

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

I never said anything about banning any jokes. And you can hate homos and blacks and any group you want.

But the priority is staying sober and helping others stay sober. That's the purpose of AA - in the meeting and in the parking lot.

Just have respect for others and don't drive off people seeking help with your biases. That's all the OP is saying.

If a fag joke and the 'n' word are important to you than helping others feel welcome and staying sober, then we don't want you at our meeting.

I think you need to go back and do some step work.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

"I never said anything about banning any jokes. And you can hate homos and blacks and any group you want"

Quote your prior text:

"I think he's just saying make room for a guy in a wheelchair and don't tell fag jokes in the parking lot"

If Rubinas really meant "Make room for people with wheelchairs in the meetings", it seems he would've said that outright in the email. Again, THE PARKING LOT is NOT the meeting room, and folks are free to tell off-color-jokes out there, so long as they're keeping their voices down. There are many jokes which include slurs as a means of satirizing bigots themselves

"But the priority is staying sober and helping others stay sober. That's the purpose of AA - in the meeting and in the parking lot"

Agreed, and if you re-read The OP, you'll notice this is in reference to SMART Recovery, NOT AA. We're an organization which professes to employ the tools of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy... That email, by contrast, encourages facilitators and participants alike to jump to conclusions about what "power differntials" may(or may not exist)between us, based on immutable traits, such as skin color, gender, creed, sexual orientation

Jumping to conclusions based on things like our complexions, genders, sexual orientations, and ethnicity, instead of approaching everyone present as an individual... That's prejudice and bias

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

Oh JFC. We don't ban the 'n' word or the 'f' word. That doesn't mean they're appropriate words to use in an inclusive and welcoming environment.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

The environment isn't very welcoming, if a Black American male isn't able to recount a distressing event,during which he and some of his pals called each other "n--ga", without someone else in the room falling to the floor in some sort of arrest, pretending to be traumatized by hearing that word

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

That's why you don't ban words. You discourage negative usage.

You sound like an angry white male.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Jumping to conclusions, just like Rubinas in that email. I'm a non-white.male, who's irritated that an organization I belong to is adopting tdraconian restrictions on speech, similar to those which existed in the nations my ancestors fled

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (12018) 9 months ago

Nothing draconian about discouraging racism and homophobia.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

The email in The OP does the exact opposite of discouraging racism and homophobia. It encourages us to "center" these traits, instead of approaching each person in attendance as an individual

Rubinas is ENCOURAGING facilitators and participants alike to think and behave in ways which are racist, sexist, and homophobic, in other words

[–] moviechatterer (15651) 9 months ago

"Last I checked, the 1st Amendment hadn't been rescinded"
here we go ,true colors emerging.

Someone suggests you discourage being a sexist homophobic racist bulling asshole, at least at this one venue in the presence of these vulnerable people, and the best response you can come up with is "woke garbage" and "Its not illegal to behave like that"

they're lucky to have you volunteering and maintaining their 1a rights

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

"....here we go ,true colors emerging"

Quote what I wrote in it's entirety:

"The parking lot isn't the meeting room. Last I checked, the 1st Amendment hadn't been rescinded, and folks are free to tell jokes with the word "fag"(and anything else they wish)in them when they're out there, so long as they're keeping their voices down"

For that matter, people are free to listen to drill rap that's overstuffed with words like n--gas and bitches WHEN THEY'RE OUT IN THE PARKING LOT(I.E. Not in the meeting room), so long as they don't have the volume turned all the way up

Thinking one is entitled to dictate what people say and do in private casual conversation is the epitome of being a bullying, Stalinsque asshole, who expects the rest of us mere mortals to cater to his every whim

[–] moviechatterer (15651) 9 months ago

I was talking about the whole conversation and memo-from-boss

The fact that you are now clarifying that this behavior is outside in hushed voices confirms , or should I say infers , that you agree that inside the room all the things mentioned need to be enforced.

You've basically reversed your position.

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Haven't reversed at all. The e-mail in The OP explicitly encourages facilitators and participants alike to focus on our skin colors, genders, sexual orientations, ethnicities, etc etc, and to then jump to conclusions regarding "power differentials" based on these same traits

That e-mail is essentially encouraging participants to jump to conclusions like "That attendee is Brown skinned, therefore he's likely poor, lives in the ghetto, and has been hassled by the cops since early adolescence", when for all we know, he's a wealthy Nigerian who summers in The Hamptons. Jumping to conclusions, based on someone's skin color..... THAT'S racist

[–] moviechatterer (15651) 9 months ago

I must have missed that bit in the text.

The message I got was "dont let people get bullied or harrassed"

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

Therein lies the most serious problem with memos written in social justice jargon.... They can be interpreted in a wide variety of ways

[–] mechajutaro (2788) 9 months ago

The more fundamental problem we encounter in modern America is that our definitions of "bullying", "racism", and "homophobia" have all been subject to concept creep https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nick-haslam-concept-creep-ep-119/id1568844882?i=1000567040879

Now, someone simply rolling their eyes or wrinkling up their nose in reaction to something can be construed by the most hypersensitive person in the room as racist/bullying/sexist/homophobic