MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > Is anyone interested in giving me though...

Is anyone interested in giving me thoughts and feedback on a screenplay I just wrote??

posted 4 years ago by Gilbert (8)
25 replies | jump to latest

I'm a 16-year-old guy who's really passionate about movies and its filmmaking aspect. I aspire to be a filmmaker someday and well, I hope it goes well. I recently finished writing a 17-page screenplay for a short film that I'd like to someday shoot. I don't have anyone around me who is interested in movies as much as I do, so I can't really get many helpful critics from my friends. It would mean a lot to me if some of you would kindly read and give some feedback on how you think I could improve the screenplay. So if you're interested, just reply with your email and I'd send the file over to you. Thanks.

[–] actionkamen (23176) 4 years ago

We're probably not the best critics. I mean, nowadays everyone is a critic. So asking a bunch of randos to criticize your work isn't the most elegant of approach.

You may want to find a mentor. Someone you can trust and know what they're talking about. Not some guys in a movie forum to make fun of your work or simply giving empty compliments.

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

Yes, I understand. But I live in an area where movies are grossly underappreciated and practically no one knows what they're talking about as well. So finding a mentor would be pretty hard around here.

I have a couple filmmakers I know, but they're busy doing their own work and I don't really want to bother that much. And I'm not quite immersed in this filmmaking world yet to know anyone I trust could drive me forward.

So yeah, instead of eyeballing my work and not get any outside perspective from it, I've resorted to asking people of similar interests and see what they think.

Do you want to have a go at it?? I'd appreciate your thoughts.

[–] actionkamen (23176) 4 years ago

I don't know shit about screenwriting, I can't help you. But the guy below might.

[–] TalkinPikchorBox (2250) 4 years ago

Ill have a go at it.

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

Cool. You mind sharing your email??

[–] TalkinPikchorBox (2250) 4 years ago

I sent it to you

[–] Kowalski (75537) 4 years ago

WHAT GENRE?

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

It's a teen drama. This is the logline:
When a life-altering incident saw Thomas paralyzed, he struggles to cope with his harsh reality.

[–] dmac8 (5050) 4 years ago

Is it your first?

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

Yes, it is. That's why I need every feedback I can get :)

[–] dmac8 (5050) 4 years ago

have you read any how-to books or stuff online about screenwriting?

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

As of now, not yet. But I've been watching tons of screenwriting advice videos and I've enrolled myself in multiple screenwriting courses as well. So I hope that would help.

[–] MonStar (12916) 4 years ago

Read books by Robert McKee on screenplays. He has run a three-day seminar for decades:
Story: Substance, Structure, Style and the Principles of Screenwriting (1997)
Dialogue: the Art of Verbal Action for Stage, Page and Screen (2016)
Storynomics: Story-Driven Marketing in the Post-Advertising World (2018)

I've read the first book and it's excellent. That book and McKee's seminar were hilariously featured in the R-rated Adaptation. (2002), written by Charlie Kaufman and his fictional twin brother, Donald. The film is about a lovelorn screenwriter who becomes desperate, as he tries and fails to adapt 'The Orchid Thief' by Susan Orlean for the screen.

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

Thanks for the suggestions. I'll check them out soon.

[–] Keelai (34864) 4 years ago

If you're really serious:

"The Academy Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting is an international screenwriting competition established to identify and encourage talented new screenwriters."
https://www.oscars.org/nicholl

The winning scripts have been turned into major motion pictures. I entered once and you will get feedback from top people in the industry. There's a small entry fee. Too late for this year, but you have time to enter next year and meet their minimum 70-page script requirement.

Disney writing program recommended reading list:
https://www.abctalentdevelopment.com/recommended-reading.html

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

Well done.

[–] Keelai (34864) 4 years ago

Semi-well done. I just found out he has to be 18 to enter. He has two years to write a great script.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

Damn. Maybe he can find a work around.

[–] Keelai (34864) 4 years ago

Unlikely. There are online schools and other competitions for teens. Maybe his filmmaker friends know the best ones.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

Sounds a little like he might be in a small country. Or just well outside any urban areas.

[–] Keelai (34864) 4 years ago

I had that impression, too. Everything is online now which makes it easier.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

Very true! He (she?) has a better chance now than any other time in history 😃

[–] Gilbert (8) 4 years ago

Hey, thank you for your support. I don't think I'll be submitting my work to any screenwriting contests anytime soon, at least for the paid ones as this is only my first short film screenplay and there's bound to be lots of flaws in it.

Right now, I'm just trying to learn and write as much as I can and surround myself with people who share the same filmmaking interest. I figure that would be the best way to go as of now.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

Friend you are leaps and bounds ahead of the vast majority of your peers. You're definitely way ahead of what I was doing at your age.
Stay the course and work hard. Ten years from now most of your peers will still be just getting started and you will be well on your way ;-)

[–] Keelai (34864) 4 years ago

You're welcome. The Nicholl Fellowship is a good opportunity when you feel you're ready. I'm sure you'll have a successful future.