Regarding Asperger syndrome, how do I handle self-hatred?
Every time I feel I screwed up I'll get hit a wave of intense self hatred and embarrassment. This is extremely unpleasant.
shareI'm sorry to hear that you experience feelings of self-hatred and embarrassment.
I don't know what it's like to have Asperger's syndrome, but I can relate to what it's like to feel self-hatred. It's difficult, painful and it can feel overwhelming at times. You're swimming around in a pool of difficult emotions: disgust towards yourself. You don't know what to do, how to escape feeling the way you do. You kind of wish somebody could come and swoop you up, save you from feeling the way you do about yourself.
The good news is that you don't have to wait for a helicopter emotional SWAT team to come and helicopter you out of what you're experiencing/feeling. You can be your own hero, you have everything you need already inside of you. You might need some help (friends, family, maybe go and talk to somebody, seek out other people that have inspirational or helpful things to say, read books on topics you feel would help you learn more about your feelings or yourself, etc.), but if you hate yourself the solution is to learn to love yourself, and *you* hold the power to make that happen.
What can make you feel better, is to work on how you feel about yourself, work on how you cope with the difficult feelings, and work on being more compassionate with yourself. Work on loving yourself, the way you are, right now, today. Try to not be so hard on yourself, don't expect yourself to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect to love yourself, you are worthy of your own and other people's love just the way you are. It's ok to have things you want to work on and improve about yourself, but it's not good to feel you MUST do that in order to be worthy of love.
I'm not sure whether anything I've said is helpful at all... I'm not so good at putting what I'm thinking and feeling into words.
You are awesome in your own way, because you are YOU, and nobody else can be as you as YOU can/are. I wish you all the best in getting to know that awesome YOU :).
Get off the couch and give me a scale!