So I sez to Mabel, I sez...

Had a sinus headache this morning, and found out that my bottle of ibuprofen had fallen out of my murse before I left for work.

So I goes down to the Health Unit to get a couple of painkillers for my headache. They won't gimme even a lameass ibuprofen until they go over me completely. They find that I have high blood pressure and elevated pulse, and they keep me there for an hour and basically tell me I'm dying.

(lesson: NEVER go to work without your own ibuprofen)

But they're trying to convince me to go to the hospital based on the BP and pulse, (which I already know is elevated because I drank a quart of vodka, last night), saying that I'm about to have a heart attack or a stroke.

The nice lady says, "You're too young to have a heart attack."

I sez to her, I sez, "No I'm not; my best friend had one at 38, and he's younger than I am."

Then the nice lady says, "Well, you don't want to have one at your age, do you?"

And I sez to her, I sez, "What age SHOULD I want to have one?"

- Oh, SOMEbody asides me is gonna RUE this here particular day...