First 5 from a screenplay I'm writing...

Be fierce, be gentle, I don't care. Just need some feedback from anyone who does... oh and it is formatted fine. it comes out looking like this on IMDB though...


FADE IN:

EXT - RED CARPET - NIGHT

"Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics play over the credits.

The music plays over the action. A limo pulls up. A man in a tuxedo opens the door, and out comes a handsome man in a suit with a gorgeous babe by his side. He smiles endearingly, and waves.

It's Oscar night. The stars are rolling in. There is already a huge crowd of stars piled up on the carpet. Cameramen, tv hosts, and fans alike are crowded around as well. The stars are being interviewed, while others are standing around taking pictures. Everyone else is just smiling and waving like robots. Then we travel down a hallway into the theater itself.

Time has passed by, and mostly everyone are in their seats. A female presenter and a male presenter walk down two staircases from opposite directions that diverge at the bottom. The presenters speak, but we don't hear them, only "Sweet Dreams" is heard.

More time passes by, and the two presenters present the award. A man stands up and smiles, he hugs his wife seated next to him, and then walks down the path, and hugs someone else seated there. He laughs and walks up to the podium to accept his award. He begins a speech, and after a few seconds we cut to another speech, and another, and another, and another. Each person giving a speech, has won an award and are either crying, tearing up, reading off their speech from a paper, hugging each other (in the case of multiple winners), sending kisses to the crowd, and raising their trophies high the air.

The music and scenery dies down.

CUT TO:

INT - PRODUCER'S OFFICE - DAY

SOME PRODUCER sits at a table staring at someone who is out of sight seated across from him. SOME PRODUCER is mid-30s, has a thick beard, and a ponytail which sticks out of a cap that says PRODUCER. He sits with his fingers pressed up against eachother. He makes no movement.

Finally, he leans forward and picks up a thick pile of papers and looks at it and then looks at the person who is still not visible, seated across from him.

SOME PRODUCER
What's this?

NOT SEEN
It's my new screenplay.

SOME PRODUCER
Is it as bad as the last one?

NOT SEEN
As good as the last one.

SOME PRODUCER
How long is it? it feels like The Declaration of Independence.

NOT SEEN
It's a bit longer than my last one.

SOME PRODUCER
A bit longer? This script is longer than Alexanderplatz.

NOT SEEN
Ummm, well it's an epic.

SOME PRODUCER
Okay, I'll take a look at it later.

NOT SEEN
Alright. Alright. So I guess, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go then. You read the script. And uh, let me know. You know. So, okay. thanks, mitch.

SOME PRODUCER
Always a pleasure bob.

NOT SEEN walks out and shuts the door. SOME PRODUCER sits at this desk and takes the script just handed to him and walks over to a closet near his desk. He opens it up, and there is dozens of scripts laying there. He throws this one in too, and then all of a sudden, his phone rings. He runs to pick it up.

SOME PRODUCER (CONT'D)
Hello? Hi. How are ya? you wanna come in? sure, I'll be in the office till 6... oh, you're waiting in my... waiting room. That's fine too. Come in.

THE WRITER walks in. The Writer is in his late 20s, medium length hair, with a goatee. Thin, young, bold.

THE WRITER
Hey.

SOME PRODUCER
There you are.

THE WRITER
I'm sorry for coming in like this. I was in the neighborhood...

SOME PRODUCER
It's fine, this is what I do.

THE WRITER
So anyway, I wanted to know if there were any calls on "Silent Dream"?

SOME PRODUCER
Uh, no nothing has changed since last night.

The Writer sighs.

SOME PRODUCER (CONT'D)
I'm sorry, but I think it might be time to put away "Silent Dream". What about that idea you told me you had, about the apocalypse?

THE WRITER
Survivors.

SOME PRODUCER
Yeah, survivors. Follow up on it. I like that idea, it has potential. It's easy to market, its got appeal up the wazoo.

THE WRITER
But what about "Silent Dream"?!

SOME PRODUCER
Silent dream is over. It never even began. I'm sorry but no one wants to see a bunch of 12 year olds in a frozen cave in hell. I mean where you drunk when you wrote that?

THE WRITER
I've been working on it for five years. You're telling me to just throw away five years of my life?! and then spend another five on some script that you'll end up putting on your beloved dust mountain you call a shelf?

SOME PRODUCER
No one cares about period pieces or meaningful movies or 4 hour epics. They wanna see tits and ass and people gettin their heads blown off. Take a look at Mitchell Ray, he won an oscar for that piece of *beep* action movie last year. That's what's in the market today, action-action-action. And people loved it, every one said it was great. Ebert and Roeper gave it 2 thumbs up.

THE WRITER
Oh well, it must be good if Ebert and Roeper gave it 2 thumbs up...

SOME PRODUCER
I'm just some producer. You're the writer.

A zoom in on The Writer's face. He has his hand on his face. He looks to the side, and then at Some Producer.

THE WRITER
Not yet.

We zoom out on The Writer's face today as he has the same expression on his face. He has shaggy hair, and a thin beard. A bit older, a bit chubbier.