Everything I know I learned from sitcoms...

1. Just open the door and walk in - no matter who's house you're going to.
2. You can sit down to dinner, but never eat. Just argue about something and walk away.
3. You gotta have a job, but never ever be seen working. Just tell people what you do.
4. It doesn't matter how much or how little money you make. You can live wherever you want and travel on impulse.
5. Your parents are recycled celebrity has-beens from old sitcoms.
6. Someone in your family is imaginary. You have to talk about them a lot. Everyone else will see them too.
7. Leslie Jordan is somewhere in your life.
8. Your next door neighbor was in commercials, but you can't remember what for.